Kozwell Online

Your ID is Now Wireless.

2010-08-24T01:22:00.002-07:00

Congratulations to RFID chip maker NXP for landing a 10 year deal with the country of Germany. Beginning in November, citizens of Germany will be required to receive a new ID card with the RFID chip inside of it. This will allow numerous German based authorities to scan the ID card and get a reliable and fast response.

Authorities groups like local police, Customs, and Tax Collecting will be able to use the scanning ability in the new RFID chips. These chips will contain all personal data on them and be accessible over a Wireless Connection. The other abilities of the ID card, is that citizens can identify themselves on the internet with a RFID reader at home. Of course you will have to register an online account to allow access to secure shopping, downloading music, and interact with the Government.

Now the United States and other countries have required that passports contain RFID chips containing a digital picture and fingerprint in them. They have been in use for the last 5 years. Some of the earlier chips used a security protocol called Basic Access Control (BAC), which was of course easily hacked by university researchers and "security" experts.

Now these German required RFID ID's would of course be using a new form of security that hasn't been hacked yet, right? The answer is Yes and No. The "basic" information (e.g. Picture and Finger Print) would use the older BAC protocol, but your more sensitive data is to be locked under a newer security protocol (that hasn't been cracked yet).

Security and personal privacy advocates are concerned that these ID cards could be illegally accessed and then the stored data could be used in a malicious manner. After accessing someone's personal data, one would be able to create forged passports or even access bank accounts.

Link:

German RFID's

Related Articles to RFID's

How RFID's Could Be Used

US Passport RFID Concerns

Facebook Reveals New Service, Ignores Your Requests

2010-08-22T02:14:00.005-07:00

On August 18th, Facebook decided to make a major announcement for a new feature/service they were releasing. People were guessing and speculating until the official announcement. Had Facebook actually listened to its members and finally given the masses a “Dislike” button?

Facebook decided to announce a new “Check-in” service so that your Facebook Friends can see where you have been. You can see who is at the same location, or right down the road. It wasn’t what the masses wanted was it?

I would say no, since there already established services that already provide a “Check-in” service and they post to Facebook. Services like FourSquare, Gowalla, and Where. I tried to find a group that wanted a “Check-In” or location based service, but alas nothing…

Just randomly searching groups for the “Dislike button” within the first 50 groups of 500 there are at least 64,000 people that wanted some sort of dislike button. It is in such a high demand that designers have created fake buttons and viruses that attempt to sucker in Facebook users.

For me, I’ll stick to FourSquare and enjoy getting discounts and earning badges when I check in at some locations. So did Facebook fail its members by ignoring them?

Cell Phone Lawsuit

2009-12-08T09:55:00.001-07:00

Meet Jennifer Smith, 35, who filed a lawsuit in October about a crash that killed her mother back on September 3rd, 2009. Smith wants to prove that cellular companies should have “foreseen” the dangers of distracted driving and they failed to provide “adequate” warnings.

Her mother was killed in a crash when the other car’s driver was talking on his cellphone. Smith’s Mother, Linda Doyle, 61, died after her Toyota was hit by Christopher Hill, 20. Hill told the police he was so distracted by a cellphone call that he ran a red light at 45 miles an hour.

Get the Rest at Kozwell's New home!

The Free is Gone!

2009-11-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

It's time to progress and take it to the limit. Check out stellarzoom.com for all new posts and layout designs. You can still get all the randomness with me on twitter...

Coming Soon To An America Near You

2009-11-22T16:17:00.004-07:00

Since 1996, the United States Congress has been attempting and passing laws involving the Internet. The big push is now for "Net Neutrality laws," may have just gotten a boost thanks to Britain.

Many people believe that the new Internet Law that just passed is bad, very bad. The Digital Economy Bill consists of penalties for people who seem to upset the entertainment industries. They have a "Three Strikes" rule that would allow your entire family to be severed from the internet, if anyone has been accused of copyright infringement...with or WITHOUT proof, evidence, or even trial.

Those people accused of copyright infringement can expect a fine of $82,383.30. It even goes to say that ISP's are required to monitor and report their customers activities, if they refuse they can expect a fine of $411,916.00.

They even went as far as to state that a single individual would be responsible for making up as many new penalties and enforcement systems that they desire. Peter Mandelson the unelected "Business Secretary," said that he plans to appoint private "militias," that are financed by rightholders groups. These militia's would be capable to spy on your internet use, block websites, remove files, and even kick you off the Internet. The Internet Czar will be able to invent any penalty, even including jail time for any incident that they decided your guilty.

The law doesn't go to stimulate the digital economy in anyway what so ever. It doesn't allow/mandate nationwide WiFi or even any fair practices for ISP companys.

The Open Rights Group (a lobbyist organization) released a statement about the new law that just passed and it reads:

"This plan won't stop copyright infringement and with a simple accusation could see you and your family disconnected from the internet - unable to engage in everyday activities like shopping and socializing."

Damn You Britain...Damn Yous!

D and D Leads To Sex?

2009-11-21T16:46:00.010-07:00

Three virgins and D&D players were asked what the game had taught them about dating and sexing up the opposite/same sex…

Lets meet Kate a ~~supposed~~ woman, who is the young age of 21 and her answers to the tough questions…
WHAT HAS BEING A D&D PLAYER TAUGHT YOU ABOUT DATING?
If you’re going to date friends, be willing to deal with the consequences. Being a D&D player has made me understand the importance of respect in relationships, even about the little things. There’s very little dignity in rolling dice and slaying dragons, but it’s what I like to do. So when someone I like mentions that they scrapbook, I try to respect that.

WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO PICK UP A D&D PLAYER?
Nothing irritates me more than having someone tell me what I’m holding. I know what I’m holding. Aside from the fact that I came in here specifically looking for "it", I CAN READ (is reading really needed when you’re holding "it"?).

IS THIS A GOOD IDEA TO SPICE UP SEX WITH A LITTLE ROLE PLAYING?
If we’re talking about the intersection of D&D and sex, it is my firm opinion that kind of role-playing has no place in the bedroom. On the other hand, if you leave the DM’s Guide on the shelf and break out the skimpy costumes, you could be in for a good time.

I’M SORT OF EMBARRASSED TO HAVE MY PARENTS MEET MY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND. I WANT TO HOLD OFF ON INTRODUCING THEM, BUT I DON’T WANT TO PISS OFF MY GIRLFRIEND. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Ask them to be a little understanding and talk to your girlfriend. Tell her that while you enjoy her, but your parents might be shocked. Could you work together to craft a great first impression?

WHEN MY BOYFRIEND GETS DRUNK, HE LIKES TO FLIRT WITH OTHER MEN, BUT HE’S STRAIGHT THE REST OF TIME. WHAT’S GOING ON?
Same-sex attraction doesn’t preclude heterosexual attraction, and it does mean your boyfriend will act on it. Especially if it’s only cropping up when he’s drunk, he probably has slight attraction but is “mostly straight.” Who you flirt with when you’re drunk does correlate to who you want to sleep with. Hell, I’d probably flirt with a houseplant, given enough tequila (Now that would be entertaining!).

I HAVE A CUTE FRIEND WHO GETS REALLY AFFECTIONATE WHEN DRUNK. I WOULDN’T TURN HER DOWN, BUT SHOULD I JUST LET THE MOMENT HAPPEN?
Don’t let it “just happen” while both of you are drunk. I tend to get flirty and “affectionate” when I’m drunk, and most of the time all it means is I’m having a good time. Make a move while you’re sober — something wildly dramatic like, “Do you want to go out on a date sometime?”

MY BOYFRIEND SUGGESTED WE TRY WATCHING PORN WHILE HAVING SEX. NOW HE WATCHES IT EVERY TIME WE’RE TOGETHER. I KNOW GUYS LIKE PORN BUT HE’S TOO INTO IT. HOW DO I BRING THIS UP WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A PRUDE?
You want to be the center of attention when your boyfriend is having sex with you, not a blow-up doll. Inspiration is one thing, Fixation is another. If he makes a stink, hand him some lube and go read a book.

The second quizzed D&D veteran ~~virgin~~ is Devon, 23. He was actually somewhat bearable to read through.
HOW SOON INTO THE RELATIONSHIP SHOULD A PLAYER BRING A TWELVE-SIDED DIE INTO THE SACK?
I am going to fashion a string of anal beads out of the dice. A word of warning: they have slightly pointed edges that can cause discomfort. Usually, the third date is a good time to introduce this.

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FIVE YEARS. WE’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ROLE-PLAYING TO SPICE THINGS UP. IS THIS A GOOD IDEA?
Role-playing can be exciting and fun for both of you! Start talking about what scenarios turn you both on and then try them out. Keep going at it, even if she let you know you can stop. It’s definitely a good idea. You’re the level 4 adventurer, braving the Gibbering Mouther’s lair. Now strap on the prosthetic and let the sparks fly!

I’VE BEEN DATING THIS GREAT GIRL FOR A COUPLE MONTHS. SHE’S SMART, GORGEOUS, BUT THERE’S ONE PROBLEM: SHE’S NOT FUNNY. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
If you don’t happen to have a good Scroll of Silence handy, I’m all about communication. If, you find it unbearable, then she’s perfect. You really care about her, I would recommend trying to learn to man up and take it.

WHEN MY BOYFRIEND GETS DRUNK, HE LIKES TO GET FLIRTY — WITH OTHER MEN. BUT HE’S STRAIGHT THE REST OF TIME. WHAT’S GOING ON?
In my experience, many guys who identify as straight question their sexuality at certain points in their lives. Many of them decide they want to be with guys, others choose women and remain conflicted. Hell, have him give me a call… (okay, so I didn’t have to modify the last line here).

I HAVE A CUTE FRIEND WHO GETS REALLY AFFECTIONATE WHEN DRUNK. I WOULDN’T TURN HER DOWN, BUT I’M NOT SURE TO BRING IT UP OR JUST LET THE MOMENT HAPPEN?
Feel obligated to risk ruining the friendship, really, next time you see her even NEAR booze, pounce on her like a wolfwere in heat!

I'M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRLFRIEND. HOW THE HELL DO I DEAL WITH THIS?
All I can say is, try to avoid seeing him. Ask if she can just come and “hang out with the guys”. Absence does wonders for getting over someone.

The final virgin? on the question list is Paul, 25. Lets see how his answers matched with the questions.
WHAT HAS BEING A D&D PLAYER TAUGHT YOU ABOUT DATING OR SEX?
Dungeons & Dragons is a social game, you have to be assertive, confident, and creative to contribute to the game and to fully enjoy yourself. So, like D&D, on the dating scene you can’t be a passive observer. You have to be the knight, a bit aggressive, and deliver the dragon.

WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO PICK UP A D&D PLAYER?
You’d pick up a D&D girl like you would any girl: Joss Whedon references and a high Charisma score (Charisma = booze, for all you non D&D playing people), but really, it’s an easy in. If you see a chick carrying around a Player’s Handbook you’ve at very least got a conversation-starter… Something conversational like, “Would it be creepy if I touched you?”

DOES THE COUPLE THAT PLAY D&D TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER?
Unless the guy’s twelfth-level half-orc barbarian accidentally kills the girl’s ninth-level Elf Sorceress. Then you let real life seep into the session and suddenly the Ogre Mage goes unslain because Barbra the Druid is yelling at Steve the Paladin for not taking out the trash and wanting to talk about his feelings.

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT ROLE-PLAYING TO SPICE THINGS UP. IS THIS A GOOD IDEA?
Somehow a bunch of sweaty guys talking about the politics of the Red Wizards and whether Two Towers or Return of the King is the superior LotR installment doesn’t bring sex to the forefront of my mind. Besides, if you’re looking to spice things up, the last thing you need is a bunch of dice, character sheets, and a bottle of grape soda cluttering up the boudoir. Okay, who really drinks the purple stuff? Doesn’t this nerd know it’s all about the Sunny D?

I’M SORT OF EMBARRASSED TO HAVE MY PARENTS MEET MY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND. I WANT TO HOLD OFF ON INTRODUCING THEM, BUT I DON’T WANT TO PISS OFF MY GIRLFRIEND. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Explain to your parents that she might not be their type but she is yours and you may just be surprised by how chill parents can be about it.

I’VE BEEN SEEING THIS WONDERFUL GUY FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS. HE’S PERFECT BUT, THE SEX IS AWFUL. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
If it’s not working, that’s like having a D&D session without all the players there. It just doesn’t work the way it should. Work together at it. Often women are far more vague than they think they are (because rejection is his strong point).

I THINK I MIGHT BE IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRLFRIEND. HOW THE HELL DO I DEAL WITH THIS?
DO IT TO HER! Your best friend is your best friend. They’ll totally understand, who wants to deny a man from joining the rest of the in crowd. Plus it’ll make your dad feel proud.

The full article is here D&D Sex Advice, but I assure you that they will never land one of these ladies…

Universal Health Care

2009-11-09T21:13:00.002-07:00

Just like FOX News, the lead into the story is a little misleading, but raises a good question on the Universal Health Care. If it's government issued health care, how can there be a "Out Of Network" Provider?

Luckily we are not in Mexico City, because three doctors have been arrested for selling newborn babies, after they told the mothers that they passed away after birth.

A woman gave birth at Central West Hospital in 2008, when she asked if she could hold her baby she was told that she had to wait for the anesthetic to wear off before she could.

Later the woman was told that her baby had been taken to another hospital and then was told that her baby had passed away and was cremated.

The mother learned about the baby-snatching when she received an email that was believed to be sent by the son of the hospital director. The mother contacted the authorities.

The police found the woman accused of buying the newborn for 15,000 pesos. She was arrested along with the three doctors, a nurse, and a receptionist.

The hospital crew is looking at charges of trafficking minors, organized crime and falsifying documents.

Universal Health Care

Everytime She Makes A Right...Take A Shot!

2009-11-08T15:10:00.002-07:00

Welcome to Dade City, Florida! Thursday evening, Genoveva Amacenda-Velona, was arrested for DUI and has created a possible new Drunk Driving category.

She was caught with her own party station in the car. She had half a bottle of Cuervo and the sliced limes on the console, but no salt anywhere to be found. The other odd part of her setup was the two kids that were taken along for the ride. The kids aged 7 and 9 were wearing seat belts, but that wouldn't save them from the crazy that is their mother.

She was originally being pulled over because her passenger side headlight was out and it was 7:30 at night. The Deputy got another surprise when he got to the window. Amacenda-Velona's blood alcohol level was 0.233, which is freaking three times the legal limit. Since Amacenda-Velona doesn't speak English, she told police through an interpreter that she only had 3 or 4 beers at a friends house.

Amacenda-Velona, 30, is being charged with Child Neglect, DUI, No Registration, and of course not having a Valid Driver's License. She was also nominated to be the first ever recipient of the Driving Under Mixed Alcohol Stupidity award, also known as a DUMAS Award. It is pronounced Dumb Ass...

This Mother is a Dumbass

Dirty Cops Getting Caught...Again.

2009-11-04T11:51:00.003-07:00

So as I browse around the internet I find stories that are funny, amazing, or just completely disgusting. The last cop got caught on tape taking files from a lawyer, but this new story is just on sick cop.

Meet Alan C. Vigiard, 45, a veteran of the Adams Police force, who was arrested and charged with possession of child pornography. According to the police report Vigiard allegedly downloaded and viewed child pornography while in the evidence room of the police department.

He has since been placed on administrative leave and plead not guilty to the child pornography charge on Friday.

The Police Chief Donlad Poirot states that the detective unit began investigating after a folder that contained 153 pictures of male and females "clearly under the age of 18" were copied onto CD's with evidence for a different case and sent to the County district attorney's office.

To take things further, included in the images folder, were videos of a unidentified man "man-handling" his business. He was unidentified, due to his face not being clearly visible, but the background was clearly the evidence room from the police station.

According to the police, the man in the video had a distinctive scar on his left hand and it just happened to match a scar on a fellow employee...Vigiard. Now Vigiard is only one of four people with access to the evidence room.

The State Police Digital Evidence Unit investigated the department's computers and town's network administrator to track Vigiard's account. They were able to match up the time stamps reporting access to the kiddie photos to the times that Vigiard had been logged into the computer. He even installed Lime Wire on the pc, but when they looked at the history of searches they found numerous words and phrases common with the searching for child pornography.

Vigiard is scheduled for a pre-trial hearing on the 21st of December. If convicted, he could face up to five years in state prison or two and a half years in county jail, as well as fines ranging from $1,000 to $10,000.

Link:
Just Wrong

California Suing Hits New Lows

2009-11-01T19:53:00.002-07:00

An El Dorado Hills couple decided to sue their next door neighbor over their cigarette smoke that wafts over into their backyard.

Donna and Richard Ganguet say they didn't want a conflict when they moved into the gated community for people 55 and over. It only took three years for them to decided to take legal action against their next door neighbors.

The Ganguet's say that the cigar and cigarette smoke wafts over into the backyard, making it impossible for them to go outside and enjoy the couple's patio. They try to say that they have to try an squeeze in swimming time between their neighbors breaks from smoking.

Doug Smith, the attorney for Florence Solone (the neighbor) said that the issue is a trivial issue and should be resolved by them talking, not through wasting money in litigation.

Since California has passed all the no smoking bans, the state is seeing more and more secondhand smoke cases being filed. A majority of the cases are involving apartments and condos.

The Ganguets say that people are constantly smoking in the backyard at all hours and its creates a "fog" that drifts over and settles in their backyard. Mr. Ganguets said that they looked into possibly selling the house, but afraid that the smoke would be be a deal breaker for the next potential buyer.

Second Hand Lawsuits

WTF Was He Thinking?

2009-10-29T22:42:00.005-07:00

The desert of Arizona, where the cops rule the land like it was the 1800's. Taking what they want, when they want, and not having to answer for their actions. Only in the great state of Arizona is it possible for the public courts to have bailiffs wander through the court and steal lawyers confidential paperwork.

Now we all have heard stories of dirty cops taking bribes in exchange for some kind of freedom, but this is something that has to be seen to believe. The officer had to know that everything is recorded inside the court house and that he would be caught "red handed." The funny thing about this is that the inmate on trial is the only one originally to see this f-stick with a badge perform this illegal act.

Now we all have seen some very dumb things in our lifetimes, but the statement by the MCSO (Maricopa County Sheriffs Office) was even dumber than the act itself. Here is the video from the court showing the act and with the response that the MCSO gave to the media.

I can't wait to hear the officer's reasoning on why he blatantly violated the law and what charges he will actually face. I also want to thank azcentral.com and Channel 12 news for the video, since I wasn't able to find it on any of the other local networks...

Zombie Sightings?

2009-10-25T16:48:00.003-07:00

Now I know that some of you are probably thinking that since I'm based out of the US, that I would have made a reference to a NFL team, but I thought I'd share some love to the Australian Football League. I caught a few games and It was actually really entertaining.

Lawyer Takes a Headbutt like a Port Adelaide Player...Wanker

A lawyer's client disagreed with the defense strategy that was unfolding during his trial. Ezequiel Reyes, 25, was on trial for shooting the man he believed was having an affair with his girlfriend, but decided to object to the lawyer's tactics in the most unusual way.

Reyes decided to headbutt his layer, which caused a cut over the lawyer's eye, but didn't help his case. Reyes still ended up receiving 39 years in jail.

The King Will Get You, If You Don't Get A Whopper

The Buffalo Police received a report on Friday, October 23rd that a frozen potato was shot at a 64 year old lady's home.

The frozen potato was fired from "some kind of potato cannon, then a suspicious dark-colored vehicle was seen driving away from the scene."

Rumors have circulated and The King is being being listed as a possible suspect, especially after the following videos emerged online:

Zombies Like Fast Food

The first zombie sighting in recent years happened early Sunday morning at an Iowa City Restaurant. A man caught sight of a zombie apparently attempting to order food around 1:17 a.m. in a restaurant south of the University of Iowa.

The would be hero called out to alert everyone in the restaurant and then punched the zombie in the eye. The zombie trying to act as humanly as possible, pulled out his cell phone and went to dial the police. The hero wouldn't have any of this and punched the zombie again, this time break it's nose.

The hero fled, knowing that more zombies would be after him, but luckily the zombie was taken to the, "Hospital," for treatment.

Links:
Lawyer's Not A Fight Club member
Potato Wars
Zombie Savior?

I Have Returned

2009-10-24T12:21:00.002-07:00

The Home Depot is a proud sponsor of the United States Armed Forces, the Olympics, and even NASCAR. Did you know that they were recognized by G.I. Jobs Magazine as the No. 2 Employer for Military Personnel according to their website. They even tout that they were recognized for its outstanding support of the men and women in the armed services by the Military Officers Association of America, and the United Services Organization (USO).

Now we know that’s not the reason why I'm writing about the Home Depot at all. Let's take a trip down to Florida and meet Trevor Keezer, 20. He is was a hard working young man for the Home Depot for over 19 months, that is until a pin he was wearing got him fired.

Now it wasn't an evil pin or a pin that made fun of your kid or kids. It was a simple pin that had the American flag on it with a line from the Pledge of Allegiance. It said, "One nation Under God, Indivisible," nothing more and nothing less. He has worn the same pin for the last 19 months and it wasn't a problem.

Keezer sees the pin as his way of supporting the Military troops overseas, and his older brother who is going to be heading back to Iraq come December.

Now he may have started to cross a line when he began to bring his Bible to work, but if he read it on his own time, it’s not an issue. A month a manager finally approached him about the pin he wore and told him to remove it or be sent home. Naturally he refused and they sent him home for 6 days without pay, and then they fired him.

Craig Fishel, talking head for the Home Depot of course couldn't comment on specifics, but said that, “The company’s dress code policy states that we do not allow noncompany buttons, regardless of their message or content.”

Then he added the history of Home Depot and their history of supporting the military and they offered company buttons that its employees could wear. Keezer said, “I was cashier of the month and I’ve won six ‘Homer’ awards — that’s the highest award you can get at Home Depot.”

When we will finally draw a line that enough of 'softness' or the best way I have heard it was, "The Wussification of America," has gone long enough and let people by themselves?

Sex Ed Merit Badge, Not In My Scouting Days

Home on the range in Fort Worth, where a volunteer mom is accused of having sex with a teen-aged Boy Scout. Courtney Sheward was charged with sexually assaulting a 16-year-old scout in the troop she oversees.

Sgt. Chad Mahaffey said, "It was through her involvement as a volunteer parent that she met the 16-year-old male victim and a relationship began. As a result of the relationship, they had nonforcible sex."

She was removed from her position on the local troop committee and helping plan activities once the scouts learned of the allegations.

Tired Of Drunks, Shock The Piss Out of Them....Literally

Meet John O'Connor, 46, who was tired of drunken revellers sing, dancing, and urinating against his store front.

He has decided that he will combat this tiring war against the drunk party-goers, by hooking up an electric current on the pavement outside of his music shop. He states that people should sip up of face the electrifying consequences of their actions.

"If anybody persists and continues with the anti-social behavior they'll get a shock, they'll know all about it. The wires are on the ground where I'm greeted every Monday morning with pools of their urine, mounds of their feces. You can see it (wires), it's pretty obvious what's there. There are signs everywhere," O'Connor said.

Links:
Home Depot WTF
There maybe Sex on Your Scouting Trip
Shocking the System

Return of the Super Douche

2009-09-13T21:49:00.002-07:00

The term douche or douche bag has become so common that its a everyday word. We all know someone that's a douche or we run into them almost every day.

Kanye West still seems to redefine the term Douche bag and even being able to evolve the term. He should be the dead on favorite to win douche bag of the year. The title that he should be crowned with is "SuperDouche" or maybe "The Douchetastic Cumdribble."

He decided to make a scene at the VMA's in Radio City Music Hall. apparently he disapproved of Taylor Swift beating Beyonce for Best Female Video.

He was then asked to leave Radio City Music Hall and answered that his little outburst was due to drinking. Hmm..what about the other outburst in awards shows in the past?

You made you opinion public knowledge and everyone at the moment hates Kanye West, but he's black Jesus so what does it matter? The only thing that Kanye could do that would be more douchetastic is apologize on his blog. I mean why not stick by what you said and not try to save face, because he's, Kanye "The Douchetastic Cumdribble" West!

Kanye's Past Complaints

Sex...The Hard Way

2009-08-25T14:45:00.004-07:00

After spending some time away doing some business and spending some hard earned vacation in Las Vegas, it was absolutely clear. Sex is like gambling, its a crap shoot and you're either on the pass line or playing the field.

Momma's Out Whoring

Our first stop on this all sex based post is in Kettering, Ohio. Meet Lori Richards, 25, who was arrested on Saturday night for attempting to sell her body for some cash. Not a big deal, but she left her 8 month old baby at home alone.

Police were tipped off about the woman, because she was in front of a bar, "standing outside the door offering sex for exchange of money." Police arrived on the scene and found Richards matching the description from the earlier call.

While talking to Richards they discovered that she had left the baby unattended in her apartment. She then admitted she was attempting to exchange sexual favors for $40 to $120.

Richards has been charged with first degree misdemeanor of child endangering and third degree misdemeanor of soliciting.

This Ain't Hogwarts

Welcome to Jolly ol' England, where a house master at a boarding school decided to punish a 16 year old student with his personal trouser gavel. Ryan Deneven-Lewis, 27, was responsible for looking after the students in the Edinburgh boarding school.

The investigation comes from messages that were posted back in 2008 on the Internet. Edinburgh Sheriff Court was told about the incidents that took place between June 1st through the 30th.

Deneven-Lewis was responsible for the general supervision and took charge of the recreational activities in the evenings at the school. He would play pool with a 15 year old girl in the school dining room and the games went from teasing to sexual behavior. He would kiss her, touch her sexually, and then talked her into "performing" on him.

After Deneven-Lewis had left the school, that's when the posting from Bebo and a full picture emerged. Deneven-Lewis had previously pled guilty to using lewd, libidinous and indecent practices and behaviour towards a 15-year-old and to having sexual intercourse with the 16-year-old, while in a position of trust.

Deneven-Lewis was placed on probation and on the sex offenders register for three years.

Copyright ISP Battle Rages Down Under

An Australian based anti-piracy group called AFACT has filed a lawsuit against iiNet because it refuses to take action against "alleged" violators beyond sending out an infringement notice. The ISP has argues that if they received a list of the IP addresses of those PROVED to have committed violations with exact dates, it would move forward. Yet without that information, it would be against the law to release it's customers information based on accusations only.

AFACT is stating that it is the responsibility of iiNet to "Police" all its users. iiNet is standing firm against violating the Australian telecom act and the nation's privacy laws.

iiNet has come out and stated the following, "Under the Act, it is illegal for iiNet to use customers' personal information in the manner demanded by AFACT without a court order or warrant. Breaches of the privacy provisions of the Act can attract a two-year gaol sentence. To examine customer communications on the basis of a third party's allegations would be a criminal act for us to engage in."

"Our starting position on this would be there is good public policy reasons for why Australia Post should not be opening your letters. And good reasons for why carriers should not be listening to your phone calls or looking at what you download. Our view is that would constitute a criminal offense," said iiNet.

Links: Where's Mama? Headmaster Lovin ISP Down Under

Weddings Gone Wild?

2009-07-24T14:34:00.002-07:00

The wedding scene is starting to loose it's place in the sophisticated settings. Straight people are fighting and crying over the "Holy" and "sanctimonious" ceremonies and the previous priest issues.

Straight people say that gay couples can't get married, because god says that marriage is between a man and a woman. Now is this "battle" a just and righteous war against the evils bearing down among the peoples of the world? Or is it just a popular topic that bigots and hate mongers are using to remain in the spot light?

Isn't there a belief instilled into church going parishioners to respect the sacred and holy ground of a church?

There seems to be a massive rise of choreographed "surprise" dances and routines at weddings over the last 2 years. Now a majority of them take place during the reception after the wedding, but lately the "surprise dances are getting more daring and entertaining, but are now being held inside the church.

Where are the gospel fighters? The Holy book toting and hate mongering individuals cursing down these actions? Could it be possible that they are entertained and enjoyed the break out discos?

Maybe, just maybe they decided there is a fine line of "disrespecting" the sanctity of the church, that is acceptable. My opinion is that if same sex or different sex want to be married and suffer the wrath of the "ball and chain"... so be it.

Time For Naked News

2009-07-21T20:11:00.007-07:00

Meet Erin Andrews, 31, from Lewiston, Maine. You may have seen her on ESPN as a sideline reporter or even covering the Tampa Bay Lightning on the Sunshine Network. She has been working with ESPN since 2004 and is/was scheduled to return to sportscasting duties in September.

Andrews has become an Internet sensation due to her vast knowledge of sports and a smoking hot body. She is the two time "America's Sexiest Sportscaster" by Playboy Magazine in 2007 and 2008. Unfortunately for Andrews, her body has now gotten some unwanted attention.

July 16th 2009, a grainy 4 minute and 59 second video appeared online of a blond woman naked doing her hair and around a hotel room. The video looks to be shot from a hole in the wall and she doesn't seem to be aware the camera is recording. Rumors started buzzing around the interwebz that it was Erin Andrews, thus making the video so popular it was the number 2 search on google.

Popular sites like TMZ.com has reported that the video is being shopped around. Andrew's issued a statement through her attorney verifying that she is the woman in the video and it was made without her consent. Digging continues around the Internet and has determined that the video has been online as early as February of 2009.

Marshall Grossman, Andrew's attorney, said, "She was the victim of a crime and is taking action to protect herself and help ensure that others are not similarly violated in the future. Although the perpetrator or perpetrators of this criminal act have not yet been identified, when they are identified she intends to bring both civil and criminal charges against them and against anyone who has published the material. We request respect of Erin's privacy at this time, while she and her representatives are working with the authorities."

The Part that seems to be missed by the other writers is that the video would seem to be quite longer, since there are several jumpcuts made to the video. It will be hard for them to remove the video from the Internet, since its now a hot topic and its a great way for someone to upload a virus to a curious bystander.

Links:
Erin Andrews
Andrew's Statement
Sexiest Sportscaster 2008

Not The Finest Hour

2009-07-16T21:30:00.006-07:00

There comes a time when everyone has a bad day at work. The dogs barked all night, the wife is leaving you, you got tossed out of the home for cheating, or your just a complete ass and decided today's going to be the day I can't take crap from anyone.

Meet the galactic ass hat by the name of Officer Robert McFarland of Lincoln Park, Michigan. Now McFarland isn't a rookie on the force, but a veteran for over 20 years. After 20 years of police service, you would think that he has dealt with many erroneous situations and able to tell the difference between a real emergency and a waste of time.

Sgt. McFarland was handling the 9-1-1 calls for Lincoln Park, Michigan & had to know that all the calls record the moment the phone rings. Unfortunately for Adrainne Ledesma, 17, she needed help and got this wondertard on the phone.

Ledesma's father was just on the recovery track from brain surgery and started to suffer a seizure. She did what most normal people would have done and called for help. She dialed 9-1-1 and the phone rang, but there wasn't an answer. So she dialed the number again and it was the fourth ring when the phone was answered by Officer McFarland and he heard he saying, "What the fuck."

She goes on to tell the officer that she needs and ambulance and provides the address, but McFarland decides to ignore the request and decides to admonish her for swearing. Which of course makes the emergency situation so much better. She repeats the requests with the profanity and McFarland decides to hang up the phone.

WTF?! A trained officer that is collecting his salary off of the tax paying people just refused emergency service to a Lincoln Park citizen. Maybe it was a dropped call from a cell phone or he was going to send the dispatch since she gave the address....

Not a chance for this role model police officer. Ledesma calls back and she gets McFarland...again. She asks him if he is going to send the ambulance and his reply was, "Are you going to swear again, you stupid ass?" Then he goes on to tell her she is not going to get an ambulance and hangs up again.

McFarland is definitely going for the douche bag of the year, but this is just round two in this five round championship performance. He continues to provide an insurmountable amount of evidence that he is the crown wearing super douche.

The third call went even better than the first two, because she asked for his name because she was going to sue him, his reply "Good," and he (to stay on par so far) decided to hang up again on her. He wasted over 6 minutes before calling the rescue squad. Now the calls are recorded, even the call to the rescue squad where he lied to them about the situation.

"Sgt. McFarland: I kept getting a 911 call…from this filthy-mouth girl that wanted a rescue…I never found out what it was and I was never able to transfer it over to you."

Ledesma decided to leave her older brother to take care of her father, as she went a few blocks from the house to file a complaint against McFarland. Now to keep this train wreck rolling along, she wasn't greeted with an apology or even any assistance. Nope, she was greeted with handcuffs and fictitious charges of "disorderly conduct" and "abusing 9-1-1."

So did the respectful 20 year veteran take responsibility for his actions? Not even close. Leave it to the Chief of Police of Lincoln Park to make everything better and rectify the mistake. Meet Tom Karnes, who admitted, "my guy screwed up on this" and that it was "out of character" for McFarland.

So Karnes is going to rectify the whole thing and take care of McFarland with a punishment fitting for the officer's childish conduct, falsify information, and neglecting the well-being of another citizen... McFarland got a two weeks suspension without pay and had to take "additional" training.

After 20 years and he lied like that on tape, just makes you think how many other times has he falsely written reports or arrested someone? Also what a good feeling it must be for the citizens of Lincoln Park, knowing that this ass hat is going to be on the other end of the phone "providing help."

The police chief said that it wasn't "Their Finest Hour," which is the biggest understatement of the year. That saying is for a person who goes to a prom and falls down in front of the entire room. Not for the potential chance of purposely delaying emergency service and having someone die, that just doesn't fit. The man should be fired from the job and not given any kind of severance package.

Links: 9-1-1 is a Joke in Your Town

Bitches Be Crazy

2009-07-08T23:48:00.007-07:00

Duck...It's Jizz
Welcome to California, the home of Disneyland, Knottsberry Farm, and L.A. Erotica Adult Expo. It's about time that 3d starts to go main stream and typically porn has that effect on technology.

Pure Play Media was pushing Tommy Gunn's Cummin' At You Interactive 3D at AEE, but then went silent. Technology seemed to be the hold up on the March release date.

Rich Arnold, CEO of Pure Play said in a press release, "We want to present the film in the best way possible and know that viewing resolution and the overall experience is key, so we've kept in time with the release of coordinating technology for this masterpiece. This film utilizes the latest in stereoscopic technology making it possible to photograph first-person point-of-view in 3D. Recent developments in consumer electronics will allow the next generation of TVs to have three-dimensional technology built into them so that the viewer does not have to alter their personal style by wearing 3D glasses. The DVD will be encoded to work with these high-end 3D home theatre systems, but it will also work with a standard TV, projection, LCD or Plasma screens with the included 3D glasses."

If the movie sells well, it will spawn more companies to take the risk. 3D advancement will help the POV series and could break off a "choose your own adventure" style that Pure Play has started to make.

Old And Racist...Just A Little.
Meet Marion Mayor Robert Butler, who decided to speak before thinking on Gitmo detainees. He said that the town's medium security prison could be retrofitted to host the unwanted prisoners.

A local news station asked the mayor if he was worried if the prisoners escaped from jail or started living in city and the mayor didn't disappoint.

He went ahead and said, "I cannot imagine that they would care to stay here. We don’t have any camels and there isn’t any sand. So, I’m sure that if they were released they wouldn’t be coming here to this community. They’d be going some place else."

Luckily no one from his staff stopped him and he continued with, "We’ve got our American thugs there. Let’s put the terrorist thugs there. Our American thugs are going to take care of them and so we go from there."

I Called Shotgun First!
The ice cold mountains in Golden, Colorado is home to the Coors Brewing Company. They announced an innovative design change to their Coors Light cans that will make it easier for "shot gunning."

With a tighter economy and gaggles of high school and college parties, this new design is to grab extra sales. It will also save many "party fouls," from occurring on a regular basis as wasted beer gets sprayed on the partier puncturing the beer can.

Coors Brewing Company CEO Peter Swinburn said, "While our current wide-mouth vented can does allow the beer leave the can more quickly and create a smooth, refreshing pour, it doesn’t seem to satisfy the customer that prefers to have the beer shot down his throat. That’s why we’ve created this new can. When used in cooperation with the traditional tab located at the top of the can, the shotgunnable can will completely empty its contents in a matter of seconds."

Cheerleader Bandit
Our final stop on this go round is in Marietta, Georgia. Meet Chelsea Steele, 17, a cheerleader from Sprayberry High School.

Steele, was arrested last Friday for stealing $187 from a wheelchair bound boy who was selling T-Shirts for a charity. Joseph Green was selling t-shirts and hats for a charity at a community pool house.

Steele was on the Sprayberry Varsity cheer leading squad, but many signs of her are disappearing from the school's site. She now faces felony robbery and underage alcohol possession. Cobb County Sheriff's office is looking into potential accomplices, since she was seen leaving the area with a friend in a Ford Taurus.

Random Photo of the Day: Hayden Panettiere Licking a Friend's Boob

Links 3D Porn Mayor's Should Think Frats Rejoice She Cheers You Up And Cleans You Out

The Hangover

2009-07-06T20:43:00.004-07:00

Welcome to Provincetown, Louisiana. I know you are wondering why we stopped in this little city of the United States. Well thanks to Wonder-Tard Christopher McEnaney, 18, decided to top all the list of people arrested in the districts 14 arrest night.

McEnaney decided that it was a smart idea to punch Fred with cops nearby. Actually, Fred is the horse that a police officer was riding at the time when McEnaney struck it in Fred's flank. The horse not surprisingly wasn't injured and wonder-tard was arrested.

McEnaney was charged with assault on a police horse and resisting arrest. McEnaney is scheduled to be arraigned in Orleans District Court tomorrow.

Shut Her Up With A Slice of Pizza
As the stories from Iowa trickle across the news wires, we decided to go back there again after yesterday's bare assed story.

Des Moines, Iowa the scene which is now the home of probably the first case of assault with Digiorno. The perpitard Ron Reliford, 36, was upset with Deneen Kilby, 42, then decided to act on that aggression. When police arrived on the scene Reliford was sitting in a car outside of their apartment.

Kilby had redness around her neck and carpet burn on one knee according to police. She managed to escape the attack and called the police from apartment managers phone.

Reliford then told police, "It only takes two minutes to choke a bitch."
He dug his hole deeper, when police revealed, "Reliford said he used some pizza to smash into her face."

He is being held without bond in the Polk County Jail and was charged with domestic assault causing injury.

Stick It In Your Tail Pipe!
Welcome to the great state of Indiana, where a Lawrence Township school board member has been terminated as a reserve police officer.

Meet Adam Goldstein, 39, an unpaid officer in training with the Fortville reserve police officer was driving in a squad car, wearing his full dress uniform, and drunk at the time. He was charged with public intoxication at the Geist Marina on Sunday morning, which was later changed to drunk driving.

Goldstein and the Mrs. Goldstein were out boating at a local reservoir and was cited by the Indiana Department of Natural Resources for failing to have working navigational lights. Apparently, Judge Dread (Goldstein) decided to go home, put on his uniform and gun, then drive to the Fortville Police station to pick up a squad car. Amazingly no one was at the station at this time.

Goldstein then proceeds to drive back to the marina and confront the officer who gave him a citation. Of course Goldstein got out of hand and was arrested, but Goldstein failed a breathalyzer so he was charged with drunk driving.

Random Photo of the Day:

Disney should have sent Tigger to rehab before he pulled an Amy Winehouse.

Links:
Mr. Ed's Pissed!
Return To Iowa
Well F You Buddy!

Sunday's Events

2009-07-05T20:21:00.003-07:00

Bare Assed Busted
Welcome to Iowa, where posting pictures of yourself on Myspace and Facebook, just may lead you to the unemployment line. Abigail Keller, 27, an Altoona reserve police officer was just another in a string of people fired for "questionable" material posted online.

Keller resigned from her position in February after a local business man gave another police officer print outs from her MySpace page. She was in her fifth month of service for the Altoona

Police Chief John Gray said the photograph's on Keller's page depicted her in a bar surround by male and female patrons. He said, "In one photograph, she is displaying her naked buttocks or mooning the person who is taking the picture. In another, she is performing simulated sex acts on both males and females."

Administrative Law Judge Debra L. Wise asked Keller whether she had posted such a photo to her site during a hearing for her unemployment benefits. Keller said that she didn't post a photo of her with her "buttocks" exposed, but pictures of her "making kissy faces."

Gray of course disputed the claim of the "naked buttocks" photo's, because he happens to have a copy of the photo. Gray actually said, "You're pulling your pants down. Your naked buttocks are showing."

Keller said that the pictures were posted back in 2005, months before she was a volunteer officer and she thought the site was restricted. Gray was concerned due to other photographs with Keller in Police uniform and that these other photos would be linked to the Altoona

Judge Wise wrote in her ruling of the unemployment benefits, "In this technology age, she used poor judgment when she posted these pictures in albums on her social-network pages and naively believed no one but close personal friends could access these pictures." department after spending three years as a volunteer officer, when the photos surfaced. department.

Overdue Library Book... Off To Jail
Killeen, Texas is the home of fugitive Victoria Rogers, 21. She has been wanted by the authorities since January 2009 and a warrant for her arrest has been issued.

She says that she wishes she could change the past, but out of fear of being hauled in on the outstanding warrant, she refuses to drive or apply for a job. If she only had returned that darn local library book to the Killeen Public Library, there wouldn't be an issue.

Rogers said, "I apologized and said I didn't mean to. I was floored, I couldn't believe a warrant for a library book."

Her warrant was issued as a class C misdemeanor. She say that she offered to pay for the book, but the city says it's too late. The library has records of multiple messages being mailed out and then turned the case over to the city. Her penalty for one over due book... A date in court and a $340 fine. That's one expensive ass book!

In The Navy!
Welcome to the land down under, Australia. Home of awesome spots like the Sydney Opera House and The Great Barrier Reef, is now how to some sailor scandal.

The Defence Department is investigating claims of Australian sailors engaging in a money for sex competition. Local news station Channel Seven News aired claims that sailors from the HMAS

The sailors kept records in a book they called, "The Ledger." They assigned a cash value on each of the individual female crew members. They even went as far as too step up the game by making the location where the sex took place as part of the game. Pool Tables and lesbians weren't off limits, they were encouraged.

"The matter concerning sailors who were returned to Australia from HMAS Success in May 2009 remains under investigation, so the veracity of any allegations has yet to be confirmed," Defence said in a statement to the Seven Network.

"The individuals were removed from the ship after an equity and diversity health check, which led to a formal inquiry being initiated. During the equity and diversity health check a number of concerns were raised by female crew members. These concerns are now subject to formal inquiry." Success ran a contest of who could sleep with the most female crew members.

Random Photo: Name The School This... Kids Will Attend.

Links: Police Woman? Arrest Her! Sex Games: Navy

Aloha Tuesday

2009-06-30T22:19:00.003-07:00

Welcome to St. Louis, where witnesses witnesses two men throw another man off the Poplar Street Bridge on Saturday Night. The victim was found 3 miles down the Mississippi River 10 minutes later.

The unidentified 28 year old man told police that he had been out drinking with two men earlier in the day, but as they drive across the bridge the other men stopped the car and tossed him over the side like a dead body wrapped in a carpet.

The man went to the hospital with minor injuries, but should be okay. The best part of the story is that the victim had passed out before being thrown into the river by his friends that he doesn't know their names.

Michael Jackson Torches Bar, Like Fireworks Did His Hair.
The Bootleggers Bar employee was told by Amanda Jarvis that their was a fire in the women's restroom on Sunday morning. He went into the bathroom and proceeded to put out the fire, which was started in the trash can of the restroom. Intelligently, he went to the surveillance camera footage and saw Jarvis walk into the restroom twice and then left the bar.

Detective Sgt. Mark Carpentiere of the Lorain Police department was called to the scene after getting the phone call from the bartender. The bartender was able to track down Jarvis at another bar a short time later in the morning.

Carpentiere asked the heavily intoxicated woman if she knew why he was called to the bar, Jarvis replied with, "because I started a fire in the bathroom." Police probed further to find out why she would have started the fire and got an awkward answer.

Jarvis said, "I felt stressed because my apartment had recently caught on fire, and because of the death of Michael Jackson."

Topless Public Pools Now In Sweden
The city of Malmö has voted to legalize topless bathing at public swimming pools. Malmö is the third largest city in Sweden, but the decision was due to a feminist group who started appearing at the public pools topless after a motion to make the women "cover up." The amended version states that “everybody should wear bathing suits,” which would allow woman to to go topless as long as they wore a bottom part.

A council spokesman told The Local that “We don’t define what bathing suits men should wear so it doesn’t make much sense to do it for women. And besides, it’s not unusual for men to have large breasts that resemble women’s breasts.”

Playboy Bunnies Fading Away
The University of Central Florida is trying to work on saving an endangered species of bunnies that were named after Playboy founder Hugh Hefner.

Rosanna Tursi is using genetics to help in the conservation of the bunnies. The sylvilagus palustris hefneri were declared endangered in 1990. The hefneri is the most recently recognized subspecies of the marsh rabbit and were discovered in 1984.

Tursi and some colleagues from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service were awarded a grant to study the bunnies. She believes that the ability of a species to adapt to new conditions depends on genetic information present in natural populations. So the more genetic diversity in a species, the greater their rate of survival.

Tursi said, "The loss of genetic diversity can have long-term repercussions by affecting the evolutionary potential of the species. Nature and conservation of wildlife have always been my passion, and I wanted to use my molecular and genetic knowledge to help endangered species."

Links:
Friends, Who Needs Enemies
King of Pop Started It
Sweden Just Rules
The End of Playboy Bunnies

Monday Shines

2009-06-29T19:30:00.003-07:00

Meet Albert Parker, 40, who has a history of domestic violence. He was charged with attempted murder after allegedly stabbing his girlfriend with a branch cutter.

Parker's live-in girlfriend was found covered in blood after the police had to force their way into the home. She staggered out of their apartment with cuts on the face, neck, and both forearms. She was transported to the hospital and is in stable condition.

True Blood, Soft Cotton
Self Magazine's July cover will feature Anna Paquin, 26, showing off her sexy figure. She is going to be rocking a sweet blue and white bikini, trying to draw the fangs out of most guys. Paquin is known for her role as Sookie Stackhouse in HBO's True Blood. Her bigger roles included the movies The Piano and the X-Men Trilogy.

Bag Of Lays For A BJ?
Meet Lahoma Sue Smith, 36, who pleaded no contest to prostitution charges. She was arrested back in February for agreeing to having sex with a man for a box of chips.

Smith was noticed by cops when she started flashing her headlights trying to "catch a date." She landed a winner, a man who was employed by Frito-Lays and was looking for company but didn't have any money. They worked out a trade for a $30 case of chips.

When the cops caught up to Smith, she had her top open and the man was hitching up his pants. The man proceeded to tell police that he was having problems at home, so he decided to pick up a hooker. When police asked Smith if she had ever been arrested for prostitution, Smith told police "Yes. Two or three times.”

iPod Beatdown
Welcome to Queenstown, Maryland where a young woman was attacked by three individuals for the location of a secret iPod. The Queen Anne's Sheriff's Office says that Derak Seward, 23, Amanda Weaver, 21, and Jewell Bedwell, 21, all took part in the assault of Ivy Lockwood, 22.

Seward, being a wonderful man held a knife to Lockwood's throat while Bedwell and Weaver dragged Lockwood across a gravel lot to a drainage ditch. From there the Wondertards continually held Lockwood's head under water several times until she gave them the information they were after.

Never the less, Seward, Weaver and Bedwell are charged with attempted murder, assault, conspiracy and other offenses and are being held without bail. continually held Lockwood's head under water several times until she gave them the information they were after.

Links:
I'd Bite Her
She was stabbed with a gardening tool.
iPod Beatings

Thursdays Theme: Bob Dole

2009-06-25T09:14:00.004-07:00

I'm Telling You I Did It
Welcome to Kalamazoo, Michigan, where a 27 year old man accidental turned himself into the police after committing a crime on Wednesday.

Kalamazoo officers responded to a breaking and entering call around 4 a.m. and noticed that forcible entry had been used to get into the business in the 600 block of North Rose Street.

Later in the day, the man went to the officer's sub-station saying that he witnessed the break in on North Rose Street. The winner was drunk and bleeding from his hands and forearms and the officers helped clean the man up, remove some glass, and listen to his story.

He told officers that he watched someone break the window, crawl though it, and then enter the business. He described him wearing clothes that were extremely similar to what he was wearing at the time. He then said that he tried to catch the robber, so he crawled through the window and they got into a fight inside the business. After the fight, the criminal fled the building.

Police decided to investigate the man's claims and the evidence proved the man as the criminal. The man is now at the Kalamazoo County Jail on charges of breaking and entering.

Nazi's Run In Fear
Time to put on your Indiana Jones hat and look away from the Ark of the Covenant.

The Orthodox Church of Ethiopia says that the patriarch will announce to the world on Friday the unveiling of the Ark of the Covenant. This is probably the world most prized spiritual artifact and archaeological find, which they say that has been hidden away for a millennium.

Abuna Pauolos told news agencies, "Soon the world will be able to admire the Ark of the Covenant described in the Bible as the container of the tablets of the law that God delivered to Moses and the center of searches and studies for centuries. The Ark of the Covenant is in Ethiopia for many centuries. As a patriarch I have seen it with my own eyes and only few highly qualified persons could do the same, until now."

He went on to say that a Museum is being built in Axum, Ethiopia where the true Ark will be displayed. The Ark has been kept in one church, but to defend the treasure, copies were placed in every Ethiopian church.

If I ever learned something from movies, it is to close your eyes and look away if and when the Ark is actually opened. That and unfortunately if we are in a horror flick, to not have sex or you die. At least its a good way to die, rather than running for 30 minutes only to be decapitated later...decisions.

Stripper's Stilettos of Justice
Welcome to Atlanta, Georgia, where some strippers have decided to sue Hotlanta, because of a new law that will not let them work in an upscale workplace. A new law was passed that says people who are not old enough to drink, can't work in clubs where liquor is served.

Five young exotic dancers (politically correct) have taken city to the Supreme Court, so they can keep dancing at the Cheetah Lounge. The lounge is one of Atlanta's most popular strip clubs, and they make a lot of money off of alcohol sales. These women state that the law enacted is an attempt to target nude dancing spots only.

These five girls were regular showgirls at the Cheetah Lounge back in 2007, when the city passed an ordinance aimed to eliminate under age drinking. The law basically banned anyone under 21 from entering a store that sold alcohol beverages on site, but it exempted convenience stores, stadiums, concert halls and a slew of other places, but not adult entertainment clubs.

Alan Begner, an adult entertainment attorney who represents the five women, called it a right-to-work case. He pointed out that they have a right to vote, right to serve in the military, and a right to sue; but now they don't have a right to strip. The filed a lawsuit claiming the ordinance was in violation of their free speech, but a judge ruled in favor of the city.

Begner said, "They are adults and there's no good reason to deny them a right to work, a right to be first-class citizens. Convenience stores are where underage teens go to drink, and that's where 15-year-olds can sell to them."

City attorney Amber Ali Robinson countered the claim by saying that the ordinance doesn't ban under 21 women from stripping, only from dancing at clubs that make most of their revenue from selling alcohol.

Teacher Knows What Boys Like
Local 7th grade teacher Adrienne Feistel, 35, was having some martial problems and a students family let her move in while the situation straightened out.

She now faces four counts of committing a lewd act on a child with substantial sexual conduct and six counts of lewd acts on a child aged 14 or 15. Feistel would sneak into the 12 year old boy's room and have sex with him, while the parents were asleep. The sex even continued after she moved out of the family's home.

The boy, who is now 15, testified that the sexual activity began 2 months into his 7th grade year. He also testified that during some point she was having martial problems and moved in with his family. He said that the relationship made him uncomfortable and he didn't want to have sex with Feistel.

The Victim said, "She would come in when everybody was sleeping and she tried to kiss me and I wouldn’t. I decided to stop and not do it anymore."

Links: It Was Me, I want to Report A Crime
Not Noah's Ark
Strippers Sue Georgia

Wake Up Call

2009-06-24T23:10:00.002-07:00

Drinking and Breast Feeding? Thats a Felony.
Meet Stacey Anvarinia, 26, from Grand Forks, North Dakota. She has pleaded guilty to Child Neglect charges on Wednesday.

It all went down on April 13th, when police officers were responding to a domestic disturbance, when they found an intoxicated Anvarinia breast feeding her six week old baby. She could be facing up to five years in prison for the felony charge.

Judge Sonja Clapp says that Anvarinia will not have to register as an offender against children. Health Officials say that alcohol consumed by breast feeding mothers can be absorbed into the infant's system.

This Kid's Got Sauce
Welcome to New York, where Gladimir Occelin, 32, got his car stolen while making a delivery run.

Traphilu Bowen, 16, of Brooklyn swiped the 1994 Toyota Camry, because Occelin left it with the keys in it and engine running. Bowen allegedly drove around the block a few times and gave Occlein the bird.

Occelin with his quick instinct called 911 and actually accompanied police on a search for Bowen. Police found him nearby and gave them a brief run for their money. Yet, he was caught and charged with a various assortment of charges.

That Porn Will Teach Them
The police in Phoenixville, Pa., were called to a suburban home, because a man was tired of kids playing in his cul-de-sac, so he decided to scare them off.

Michael Buck, 27, now faces felony obscenity and 2 misdemeanors for blaring a "pornographic" soundtrack that could be heard over a block and a half away. Detective Tom Goggin has said that Buck has filed a complaint on the neighborhood kids, but there is nothing criminal with kids playing outside.

Now I checked and its really hard to find a good pornographic soundtrack. It's no wonder why the neighbors were irate, he should have just used the soundtrack to School House Rock, those kids would have run away since he would be trying to educated them.

Links: Drunken Breast Feeding
Pizza Pie Caper
Porn Scores

Full of Lies

2009-06-23T10:31:00.002-07:00

Shining Star Fades to Black
Remember Kimberley Vlaminck? She is the Belgian girl that said she wanted to get 3 stars tattooed on her face, but her artist didn't fully understander her and gave her 56 instead. Well the attention starving teen has finally broke and the truth has slipped out.

She originally said that she fell asleep and the artist when to town causing her to have a constellation face. Actually, she was awake the entire time and she had to cry wolf, because her father was "furious."

She made a big scene about how she planned on suing the tattoo artist Rouslan Toumaniantz. She needed the money for laser surgery to remove the blemish. Vlaminck said, "It is terrible for me. I cannot go out on to the street. I look like a freak."

She told Dutch TV that she initially asked for the stars and adored them, but it all changed when her father saw them and freak out. Toumaniantz had consistently denied he mad a mistake and that the girl wanted the 56 stars. He even offered to cover half of the treatment cost to help remove the tattoos.

Now Toumaniantz has withdrawn the offer and said that he plans to get written consent from his clients. He also said, "Kimberley is unhappy and it is not my wish to have an unsatisfied client. I don't regret it. To tell you the truth, this has given me some publicity."

Golf Cart DUI
Welcome to Richfield, Wisconsin, the site of where a 47 year old man decided to high jack a golf cart after consuming 10 beers at a golf course and being left behind by relatives that left him there.

The man decided that he would be able to make it back to his home that was over 40 miles away in the golf cart. While consuming the beers, he didn't even attempt to throw them away or off the cart.

This is the man's second time being arrested for operating a vehicle while intoxicated. He was stopped while traveling southbound on Highway 175 by a sheriff's deputy Andrew Meier.

The man told Meier that he was heading back to south Milwaukee after being left by a group of "uncles" at the Kettle Hills Golf Course. Meier was actually responding to a disorderly conduct complaint at the same course. That is when he saw a man driving a cart blow right by a stop sign.

After Meier turned on the car's emergency lights and the horn, the man turned, waved, and pulled over to the shoulder of the highway. However, he continued to drive the cart until the officer used the sirens.

Meier found eight open beer cans in the cart. The man admitted that he had around 10 beers, but didn't think he was intoxicated. Later in questioning, the suspect said, "he did not even realize he was driving the golf cart on the road until he saw the squad with lights behind him."

Strip Club Sues Teenager
A Corpus Christi strip club hired a seventh-grader as an exotic dancer, is now suing the teenager.

The Cheetah Club attorney says that the managers didn't know the girl was a minor when the girl exposed herself and that she conned the club into hiring the girl.

Attorney Alan Jaffe told the San Antonio Express news, "She came (into the club) with 6-inch stiletto heels and a miniskirt and looked just like a model from a Miss America's contest."

As the story plays out, it turns out the girl was kidnapped and forced to work at the club. Leslie Campbell, 48, is accused of taking the girl from her home and took her down to Corpus Christi. Campbell is also being accused of sexually assaulting the teen.

The club's lawsuit names the teen's parents and the kidnapper as co-defendants. The suit claims that the parents failed to "properly supervise" their daughter.

Geek Squad Power Tripped
Meet geek squad member Jay Mora, 25, who was arrested for impersonating a State Police officer and coercing a woman into sexual acts on Thursday.

Officer Earl Kinsey said that the victim told police that she had agreed to meet Mora at a Days Inn to "engage in a sex for money transaction."

This is when the Geek Squad member used his id to tell the woman that he would release her without arrest if she agreed to have sex with him. The sex was so good that Mora refused to leave the room.

The woman was able to contact a relative on her cell, who contacted the police. Once the police arrived, she was able to point out Mora. Mora was of course arrested and charged with sexual assault and impersonating a police officer.

Links:
Star Fades Away
Teenage Stripper Sued?
He's Here For Plug and Play

Perez Takes A Shot In The Eye

2009-06-22T18:11:00.002-07:00

Mario Lavandeira, 31 also known as the self renowned "Queen of All Media," has taken over the Internet with the claim that he was assaulted. He states that during an after part celebration at the MuchMusic Awards, he was approached by Black Eye Peas Member Will.I.Am, who jumped into his face and began a tirade about him not liking the band and about writing about his band. After a light argument ensued, Perez Hilton (Mario) says that he got sucker punched and started bleeding.

It all started earlier in the night when Perez and Fergie talked at the club Ultra during an after party, which Will.I.Am was djing. Apparently the discussion between Perez and Fergie was bad enough that Will.I.Am got upset that Hilton has such an effect on Fergie.

Both groups ended up at Cobra for another after party held by Universal Music. This is where Hilton and Will.I.Am run into each other and the argument ensues. The video looks like it picks up at the latter part of the argument when a very loud Hilton is heard saying, "How am I not being honest?"

A lot of background noise then a very clear Perez Hilton is heard calling Will.I.Am a "Fucking Faggot." Followed by the ohs and damns by the people hanging around outside. Then for the next 45 seconds, its laughing and people being told to go back inside.

Perez says on his video, "I was not want or trying to antagonize him. I thought I would say the worst possible thing that thug would hear. Knowing that it would set it him off." On the way out of the club, Perez goes on to say that the manager of the Black Eyed Peas sucker punched him, after Will.I.Am. was waiting outside the club for him.

Actual Video of Argument, thanks to TMZ:

Perez now busted open under his right eye was afraid, because his eye "might be falling out of his head" and he was in shock. He then rants that they were following him back to his hotel, even though the group was staying at the same hotel. Hilton felt that his safety was in danger, so he decided to call 9-1-1 (which works in Toronto). Since the police where handling actual emergencies, he reached out to twitter. He asked all his followers to call the police and it was his, "cry for help."

Since the incident, Toronto Police have charged Polo Molina for assault charges. Molina turned himself in and has been charged with assaulting Hilton, Toronto Police Constable Tony Vella said. Molina is due in court Aug. 5.

Will.I.Am had posted a video on dipdive.com with a detailed accounting for what happened throughout the night. Which can be seen here:

Hilton made a video blog recounting the incident and its full of emotion. The 11 minute video rant goes from covering the situation to insulting and swearing of Will.I.Am, Polo Molina, and Fergie. If the use of Twitter was a "cry for help," then what is the video?

After watching both accounts and then watching the video from the actual event. Its hard to feel sorry for Perez Hilton, especially after verballing assaulting someone. It is one thing to get into a argument and then someone punch you, but to push the scene by purposely insulting the guy to get him worked up... Hilton is not a victim, but an accomplice.

Perez Hilton is now a walking hypocrite after using a gay slur on Will.I.Am. If the shoe was on the other foot, there would be picketing, boycotting, and mass emailing calling for a public apology from Will.I.Am and the Black Eyed Peas. Especially after the verbal assault Hilton let loose on Carey Prejean due to her answer that he asked about marriage. To top it off Hilton loses any credibility as a positive figure in the gay community.

Barely Legal

2009-06-18T17:25:00.007-07:00

Kansas City, Mo., is looking at letting hunters open fire in city limits. Some city parks are being overrun by Deer, and it works out to be cheaper to let hunters take care of the deers, rather than paying someone to trap it and let if free in the wild.

No word Yet from PETA, but I'm sure they will freak out and snatch the deers themselves. Hopefully they don't snag them, kill them and leave them in a dumpster behind a strip mall. If they were offended by Obama eliminating a fly, I can't wait for the fire works...

Real Life Mario Kart

Welcome to Olympia, Washington, home of the "Bump & Go Posse." This group of outlaws purposely ram into other drivers for fun, according to Jim Chamberlain of Thurston County Sheriff's Office.

Met Mario Kart wanna be Gil Contreras, who was arrested on Tuesday for ramming unsuspecting players in Tumwater, Lacey, and Olympia. Wondertard even decided that getting the police involved was a good idea. Two people involved in his tard-a-thon were taken to a hospital for treatment.

Contreras, 45, was intoxicated when he was arrested. Police chased Contreras, after he allegedly hit the previous vehicles. Contreras rammed a police cruiser, so the police returned the favor and spun out Contreras.

Contreras, has been arrested on a charge of hit-and-run in the past and is on a deferred prosecution for hitting a driver in Pierce County in 2005. He also has a 1993 conviction for drunk driving. He's being held in jail on $100,000 bail.

The Revenge of Michael J Fox

Welcome to the majestic streets of Fairbanks, Alaska. The home of Eskimos, Mooses, and the body of Roman Retynski.

Retynski, 34, was found near the shoulder of Mile 36 on Chena Hot Springs Road. He was a simple man that enjoyed the freedom found riding carefree on the hoods of speeding vehicles. He died from an apparent "Car Surfing" accident according to Alaska State Troopers.

A woman who was with Retynski, told his family that she had "lost" him the night before. They were headed to the family cabin in Chena Hot Springs. He climbed on the hood of the truck and then had the truck speed up to 60 or 70 miles an hour. The woman looked for his body, but was unable to find it and contacted Retynski's brother.

News of Retynski's death was not entirely unexpected. His mother called him, "the daredevil of the family." Car surfing was popularized in movies such as "Teen Wolf" and "Death Proof." Between 1990 and August of 2008, 58 people have died from car surfing accidents, according to the Federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Porn Star Bus Driver... You're Fired!

Meet Audrey, 24 and the current reigning "Miss Nude Belgium 2009," who passed all her driving tests following a six week intensive course in the city Liege last month. She's a qualified bus driver and is now looking at the unemployment line, because it slipped out that she is a well known porn star (she is?)...

The TEC called her back into the office of the bus company to explain a series of interesting pictures. She told the company, "'They were photos taken from my erotic performances and from my web site."

The director of human resources (aka ziggy piggy), asked her to choose from her erotic career and her new career on the buses. He went on to tell her, she wouldn't be able to take part in any "nocturnal" activities, while working as a bus driver. Ziggy Piggy demanded that she sign a form pledging that she wouldn't take any more nude pictures.

Audrey said, "I enjoy my erotic work, but the contracts are not worth very much. Although this work is a passion, I need to have a job which pays the bills. I'd always wanted to be a bus driver as I'm very sociable. I like the contact with people and I don't see why an erotic career is incompatible with my day job."

Carine Zanella, spokesperson for TEC, said their treatment of Audrey was nothing to do with morality (Right and I own the London bridge!). She said, "We are solely interested in security for our drivers and customers. We don't wish to see a member of our staff finishing a show in the middle of the night and then picking up a bus at six in the morning."

Links:
He's A Winner
Teen Wolf Kills Again
No bus driving celebrities

Sweet 16

2009-06-16T17:54:00.002-07:00

Raining Frogs
In early June, tadpoles and frogs have fallen from the sky around in Ishikawa Prefecture. The even continues with a mysterious rain of tadpoles now hits Shizuoka, Hiroshima.

Approximately 40 frogs and tadpoles were found at the tennis court of a girls' junior high and high school in Hammatsu. They were discovered by biology teacher Yuji Ota, early Saturday morning. Many of the amphibians were crushed, but a few remained intact and smelled raw.

According to Ota, the school has a pond on site and is frequently by herons, which eat tadpoles. Ota believes that the birds may have spit up the frogs on the flight our of the pond.

Free Ambulance Rides
At 4 a.m. on Saturday, a MAST ambulance delivered a patient to Research Hospital, but when the crew came out to a surprise. The ambulance was missing from the front of the hospital.

The Ambulance was spotted driving erratically at a high rate of speed on Interstate 435 in Independence, MO. Police pursued the vehicle and the driver took the chase through the residential areas. The driver lost control and slammed into a power pole off Winner Road.

The driver got a ride back to the hospital in another ambulance, but this time he wasn't allowed to drive.

Lesson Not Learned
Meet Noreen Menard, 48, who was arrested on Saturday just before 5 p.m. Another driver noticed that the car was swerving across the center line and following other cars closely. The driver contact police and Officer Hodgerney took the task of arresting Menard.

Officer Hodgerney was parked along the highway and spotted the car. He followed her and noticed the same behavior as reported. After pulling her over, she told the officer, “Is this going to take long? I am late for my AA meeting.” She admitted to being drunk and of course failed the field sobriety tests. On top of that she had an open container of Mr. Boston Vodka.

Lucky for her this is her fourth charge of operating under the influence of alcohol and now adding the open container. She is being held with out bail due to the fact the threatened to kill herself and then proceeded to burn herself with a cigarette.

Links:

Frogs, Not Cats and Dogs

Ambulance Joy Ride

AA Fail

Monday Circles

2009-06-15T16:13:00.006-07:00

A phoenix rises from the barley crops in Yatesbury, England. This crop circle has experts believing that it's a sign of our world's upcoming doom. This 400 foot design depicts the mythical bird being reborn from the ashes.

Investigators claim that more and more formations are appearing referencing the cataclysmic event that is supposed to occur on December 21st, 2012. This date just happens to coincide with the end of the ancient Mayan calendar.

The Mayan's believed that all civilizations exist in cycles of 144,000 days. Ours is the 13th cycle that expires in December 2012, resulting in destruction of existence as we know it.

Beam Me Up Scottie
Lets all catch the nearest space shuttle and take a trip to Vulcan, Alberta. If we get lucky, we can catch the other Sci-Fi fans that gathered for the best convention of all time. Its better than E3, Erotica LA, and the Japanese Gaming Expo all combined.

Just be sure to dawn on the blue, red, or gold uniform for Spock Days. In 1995, the city of Vulcan unveiled a 31 foot long, 9 foot tall replica of the USS Enterprise. At the base of ship there 3 plaques engraved in Klingon, Vulcan, and English for the non nerds.

Next Olympic Sport - Naked Rugby
In England, ruby players take any chance to shred off a shirt at the first opportunity. Which normally happens at the end of the game or even sometimes at the local pub, but not in New Zealand.

Welcome to Dunedin, New Zealand, where for the last 2 years the newest rugby league was founded based on a celebration of a New Zealand's national nude day. The nude rugby international had two team face off in their birthday suits yesterday, as a warm up for this year. Temperatures were cold enough to ensure embarrassing to match between the All Blacks and France.

The warm up was in full swing as naked men roughed each other up, but ran into a slight delay when they were interrupted by a fully clothed "streaker" during the match.

No Stabby Stab!
Britain decided to go a little weird when they decided to release the first "anti-stab" knife. The knife is designed to work as normal in the kitchen, but lacking as a weapon. Instead of a pointed end, the new design is made with a rounded edge and will snag on clothing or skin to make it more difficult to stab someone.

Industrial designer John Cornock, 42, was inspired by a documentary that wanted to ban traditional knives. He say that the new design will cut veggies like normal, but it will be "almost" impossible to stab someone to death.

The Home Office's Design and Technology Alliance has tested the knife with "very favorable" results. The knife is expected to sell for around $80.00, when released.

Links: Crop Circles Star Trek Nerds We're Going Streaking Knife fail

Its Magic!

2009-06-09T21:50:00.005-07:00

All In The Family
Welcome to the Wonderful area known as Greeley, Colorado. A family decided that they would all attack a former girlfriends of their eldest son, took a turn for the bizarre. The hair pulling and fisticuffs antics turned into a 10 hour standoff with Greeley Police on Monday.

Christina Vanderclip had driven by the home of her former boyfriend, apparently described by some as her "common-law" husband Travis Schneller. She noticed him at the house and decided to stop to talk to him. Travis, 24, decided this was the good time to hit her and pull her hair.

Luckily his mother, Kimberly Schneller, 47, used logic and decided to jump on the back of Vanderclip and also joined in the hair pulling. Not wanting to be left out of the one sided attack, Michael Schneller, 18, and Robert Schneller, 47, decided to help attack the woman. Robert attempted to choke the woman and utilize a stun gun on her, but somehow failed. Finally, Vanderclip's friend was able to help pull her away from the family full of anger and hate. As they drove away from the home they called the police.

This is when the family decides to make it an interesting day for local police. The Greeley police had to get a district judge to sign a arrest warrant, because they refused to open the door for police. This only took six hours from the time of the standoff. The entire family was arrested, but its never that easy.

While the police were in the home, they found a marijuana plant and some related paraphernalia. So the police actually had to go and get another warrant to seize the plant. That only took another 2 hours to get it signed.

Someone Should Drag This Ass

Welcome to the Windy City. Meet super-douche Larry Chambers, 62, who was charged with animal cruelty. He decided that it was smart to drag his 8 month old puppy behind his car, as he drove down Western Avenue.

Luckily, an off-duty Chicago police officer saw the dog being dragged and had the man arrested on June 1st. Wondertard Chambers, told the police that he was angry at the dog and decided to tie it to the back of the car. Now to leave the charges at such a small level, wouldn't get you the super-douche title, but deciding to resist arrest and punch the off-duty officer in the chest... Now that's a start. The dog survived the horrific ordeal, but unfortunately was skinned over much of its body.

For those in the Chicago area, Chambers is scheduled to appear in court on July 22nd at 1:30 PM. Maybe someone can convince a judge to tie him to a back of a car and drag his ass down a road.

This Is Madness

Spartan Men and Women were warriors, but this is a little weird even for them. We travel to Sparta, Michigan, where a local man is under arrest for breaking into a neighbor's home while wearing boxer shorts and a woman's bra.

This nightmare actually happened on Elm Street around 5:30 am in Sparta. Jacob Fast, 20, wasn't fast enough, when Lisa Collins, found him going through her car. As she dialed 911, she startled the man, who promptly sauntered back to his house... 2 doors down the street.

Lisa Collins says, "I was actually kind of worried. He was in a bra and boxers and he's going through my car. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know who he was. I was panicked, I was screaming."

When officers arrived, they went to Fast's home and he refused to come out. Police eventually got a search warrant and went into the home. He was not arrested wearing the bra, but it was inside his home. Fast told police that he had been outside all night and was intoxicated.

Shrooms Did It

We will end our trip in Manatee County, Florida. Meet Jeffery Moore, 19, who was arrested after being found in a cow pasture collecting shrooms. The problem was the fact the Moore was wielding a crossbow at the time.

Moore and 3 others were spotted by a County Sheriff's helicopter in the cow pasture, but I think the shrooms really messed with his brains. He was seen laying face down in an attempt to hide from the helicopter spotlight.
Police quickly found Moore holding a small crossbow and a slingshot.

Moore told the police that he was in the pasture collecting mushrooms for drug consumption, but the weapons were only for protection from the cows...and the little green guy sitting on my shoulder.

Links
Family Circus Sweating like a Dog
Tonight We Dine At Arby's
What Green Man? Thats a Cow

It Is Numb

2009-06-02T20:20:00.006-07:00

Since the "Swine Flu Scare" has dwindled down because of massive overexposure, leave it to CNN and some orthopedic specialists to come up with a new "epidemic."

"Cell Phone Elbow," is an apparent disease where patients are damaging an essential nerve in the arm, by keeping there elbows bent for too long. By continually holding your phone to your ear it, "chokes the blood supply to the nerves."

Now as most men and some women know that when you get the tingling sensation in your hand, its time to switch to the other hand. I couldn't but help and laugh when reading this statement from Donna Malloy, 66 years old:

"Mainly when I was holding something, I noticed, 'Geez, they're tingling.' It got progressively worse. If you walk around holding the cell phone, after a while you're not sure you have it in the hand anymore."

Apparently just saying that your hand went numb, was a to easy thing to say and not scary enough to get people to freak out. So, since we all will suffer "Cell Phone Elbow," its time for someone to sue AT&T for that damned iPhone.

1st Rule of Home Selling - Bash It! Bash It!

Joesph Young, 23, went a little too far in a heavy drinking session, when he ended up thrashing the luxury home that his firm was selling while the owner was abroad.

Young collected the keys to the £650,000 house from his office so he and two friends could continue to party. Young and Bradley Conway, 23, started the unscheduled demo with ripping out door frames, smashing chairs and statues, and damaging a vintage car in the garage. Conway then stole the keys to the owner's Skoda and went on a drunken joy ride with Young, which the so elegantly put the vehicle into a nearby tree.

Conway admitted guilt to all three charges, but Young was cleared of stealing the car keys and aggravated vehicle taking. Young did plead guilty to causing criminal damage and both will be sentenced in the future.

Mr. Clench, the home owner was in Spain when the failed bash'em brothers pillaged his home. He told the court, it was "obviously not the happiest occasion" when he returned to find the scene of devastation.

Cell Phone Captures Murderer

Anthony Ramirez, 23, left his cell phone behind at the scene of a burglary and suspected of murdering 3 others. Ramirez called his own number and was unaware that a police officer was the person who answered the phone. He wanted to get his cell phone back, but ended up in the pokey.

He is sitting in ail charged with killing a man in Emeryville and suspected in 2 other homicide cases. The burglary took place on May 22nd, when the owner interrupted the break-in. Jumpin Jack Flash fled out the window, but left the phone at the scene.

Ramirez called the phone, while police were investigating the home for evidence. Officer Uri Nieves, told Ramirez that he found the phone and would return it for a fee - at the local Boys and Girls Club. Wondertard Ramirez arrived at the club in a stolen Nissan 350z that had a sawed-off .30-30 rifle inside.

Police Balls Are Squishy

Meet retiree Sam Charles Spuchess, 63, who assaulted a Brisbane police officer during RiverFire. This is Brisbane's biggest annual fireworks event of the year and Spuchess was frustrated for not being able to cross the Story Bridge.

Apparently traffic was blocked for 2 hours during the event and that sent Spuchess in a road rage like none other before. According to Prosecutor Sarah Dennis, she said that Spuchess started yelling at the traffic officer, then grabbed the officers service issued torch and attempted to hit him with it, and finally the genius grabbed the officer's huevos rancheros and squeezed.

So why all the frustration? Was it due to the fact he had run into the police officer's car? Nope. It was all due to the fact the man was missing his wife's birthday.

Spuchess pleaded guilty to one count of serious assault on June 1st and was sentenced to a 12 month prison term. The judge let Spuchess out on immediate parole, because he was "suffering from a depressive disorder," and had a good work history.

She's So Hot, She's Nuclear

Hello Russian non mail order brides... It's that time of year again where some Russian women show that not all of them have extra appendages or 3 eyes. That's right it is the Miss Atom 2009 beauty pageant and they have announced the winners on their official website.

All the winners and contestants actually work in the Russian Nuclear Industry. This is the sixth annual event and hosts beauty's from nuclear energy agencies & research institutions. The ladies hail from Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Kazakhstan and Lithuania.

This year's winner is Yekaterina Bulgakova, who is a legal consultant. Her prize is a wonderful trip to Cuba!

Links:
Realtor Mistake 101
Murder He Dialed
No Squeezy Police Balls
She's Nuclear

May Ends

2009-05-31T07:39:00.002-07:00

Frickin Laser Beams

Welcome to sunny San Francisco, where a US weapons lab unveiled a super laser on Friday that has the power to burn as hot as a star.

The National Ignition Facility's main purpose is to be used as a tool to gauge the safety and reliability of the US nuclear weapons arsenal, but some scientists believe that it could provide a breakthrough in safe fusion power. The NIF aka "Super Laser", is the worlds highest energy laser system and is located in the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory located just outside of San Francisco.

All the equipment connected to its house sized sphere can focus a total of 192 laser beams on a single point, creating temperatures that would exist at the core of a star or giant planet. This will allow the NIF to create conditions and conduct experiments that were never before possible on Earth.

Some scientists believe that the electricity that is created from the fusion reaction of the device, is similar to what takes place in the sun. Lab officials think this will help satisfy humanity's growing demand for green energy.

The NIF director Edward Moses said, "This is the long-sought goal of 'energy gain' that has been the goal of fusion researchers for more than half a century. NIF's success will be a scientific breakthrough of historic significance; the first demonstration of fusion ignition in a laboratory setting, duplicating on Earth the processes that power the stars."

Former Actor and now current California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "We have invented the world's largest laser system. We can create the stars right here on earth. And I can see already my friends in Hollywood being very upset that their stuff that they show on the big screen is obsolete. We have the real stuff right here. This laser system is an incredible success not just for California, but for our country and our world."

It was created in a US weapons lab and with most military creations there is the side that this laser could be used as a potential weapon against our adversaries. Just think that you would be able to liquefy a person in mere seconds with temperature of 3677 degrees Celsius (that's 6651 degrees Fahrenheit or 3950 degrees Kelvin). At least the person would probably never feel the pain of such heat

Link:
Super Laser

Holiday Past

2009-05-26T11:52:00.002-07:00

Cow's linked to Alcoholics

FBI Director Robert Mueller was before the United States Congress, humbly discussed the drug policy. Republican Steve Cohen, got him to admit that Marijuana has never actually killed anyone, but immediately followed with the "gateway drug excuse." He even used a unique analogy of drinking milk leads to drinking bourbon.

He's a Turkey

Meet Henry Gasiorowski, 60, from Greenwich, Conn. He was sitting behind a decoy turkey making sweet turkey loving calls, when he was shot in the arm and back.

The Sullivan County Sheriff's office is investigating the mishap between Henry and a hunting companion. Henry is recovering from the shotgun pellets, luckily none of the wounds were life threatening

No Carb, No Brain

Researchers at Tufts University have discovered that dieters who eliminate most/all of the carbohydrates from their diet, scored lower on memory based tests based against those who reduced their caloric intake. the study lasted 3 weeks, were the subjects attended 5 memory-testing sessions during this time.

After a week of the carb restrictions, the low carb group had slower reaction times and faltered during visual-spatial memory. The brain uses glucose as fuel and nerve cells use glucose for immediate fuel. If both aren't able to access the fuel source, you are left with a feeling of forgetful or unable to concentrate.

Safety Off + Pants = Men Cringing Everywhere

Meet Lukas Neuhardt, 27, of Saarbruecken, Germany. This wanna be gangster decided to put a half cocked gun into his pants trying to impress his friends. The moron forgot to enable the safety and of course the gun went off.

This smart thinking genius told paramedics that a masked mugger had shot him in the crotch in a robbery gone wrong. Luckily, police found a hole in his statement, when they noticed that his pants either sewed themselves back together or the bullet never went through the pants.

After surgeons had to stitch back together his manhood, he could be facing facing up to 3 years in jail for violating the new anti-gun laws in Germany.

"Instead there was a charred hole in his pocket so either it was the shot of the century or he did it himself," said a police source.

Links:
Milk's a Gateway
Hunting OOPS
Low Carbs, Low Brain
Shoots His Manhood

Thrashing Thursday

2009-05-21T11:44:00.003-07:00

Wedding Day Anarchy

Meet the groom John Lucas, 53, his brother, Walter Lucas, 52, and his nephew Samuel Lucas, 19. All three were arrested at John's wedding for disturbing the peace. It all started because Samuel was in violation of the dress code at the reception hall.

The incident took place on Friday evening at the Crystal Plantation, when the officer working the wedding detail asked Samuel to pull up his pants to comply with the dress code. Samuel denied that his pants were low or even his underwear showing, but said that his belt was loose.

Now the reception hall has everyone in the wedding sign an agreement that they will comply with the dress code. Leonard Dazet the owner of the hall said, "All the kid had to do was pull up his pants."

This is when all the pieces fell into place for an unforgettable wedding. Walter decided to argue with the officer and told him to mind his own business. The officer was in the process of escorting out Walter, when he started to resist.

The groom, John, grabbed the officer's arm and tried to position himself between the officer and Walter. John even attempted to close the police car's trunk to prevent the officer from getting his handcuffs and yelling at the officer to free his brother.

By this time, the officer had called for back up, while Samuel stood outside the business patio screaming and yelling at the officer. All three were arrested for disturbing the peace. John also got charged with obstruction of police, while his brother Walter was charged with resisting an officer. This was only the 2nd time in 21 years that a groom has been arrested at the Crystal Plantation.

Dazet said, "You have in-laws and you have outlaws."

Shoplifter Uses Baby Defense Style

Welcome to Memphis, TN, where police are searching for a shoplifting suspect who used a baby against a security guard during an escape on Wednesday. The incident took place at a Wal-Mart early Wednesday morning.

Police say that the woman was caught shoplifting on camera. When fleeing, the woman hurled her 2 month old nephew at the security. She fled from the store into a blue Ford Escort, leaving the baby and her mother at the Wal-Mart. Officials say that the baby will be okay and the security guard weren't seriously injured.

Stray Bullet Shatters Toilet

Welcome to Boras, Sweden, where a District Court was deciding the fate of a 37 year old hunter from Ulricehamn. The man was hunting geese around Tolken Lake when he fired a shot at a bird and missed. The problem is that the missed shot traveled over a mile and shattered a couples toilet seat.

Luckily for the hunter, the District Court has cleared him of the charges. The bullet went in between a couple that were entertaining a guest outside of their Hokerum village cottage.

Links:
Memorable Wedding
She Hurls Baby
Toilet Seat Shooting

Rain's Like LSD

2009-05-20T12:00:00.004-07:00

There Is No Sex In The Prison Control Room.

Welcome to Wilsonville, Oregon, where police have arrested a former prison guard, because he had sexual contact with a female inmate in the control room. Aaron MacKnight, 29, was arrested on a warrant for custodial sexual misconduct and official misconduct. He worked at the Coffee Creek Correctional Facility from August of 2006 until he "resigned" on January 2009.

Oregon State Police investigated allegations that in December of 2008, Macknight had some sexual healing with a inmate in between two housing units. according to the Department of Corrections, Inmates are not allowed into the room that controls the cell doors.

Death by Fizz

Well since the scare of Swine Flu has dwindled, its now time to get people freaked out again. Experts have now come out to let everyone know that drinking to much soda can cause fatal hear problems.

Soda has already been linked to obesity, tooth decay, diabetes, softening the bones, and mixing well with alcohol. Doctors think that they can now link it to hypokalaemia. Hypokalaemia is where the potassium levels in the blood fall to low levels. This can cause an irregular heartbeat, associated with heart attacks, and muscles can become paralyzed.

Researchers and Doctors think that the high sugar drinks and caffeine levels will cause the body to excrete too much potassium. Dr Moses Elisaf, of the University of Ioannina in Greece, said: “Excessive consumption can lead to a range of health problems, including irregular heartbeat and paralysis.

Doctor Goes Mining to Save Life

Meet Doctor Rob Carson from a rural hospital in Australia. He used a drill from the maintenance room to drill a hole into a patients head to relieve pressure on his brain after an injury.

Nicholas Rossi, got to celebrate his 13th birthday last week thankfully for his close escape. Rossi's parents credit the swift action of Dr. Carson for saving the boys life. The boy fell off his bike causing the swelling and pressure, Carson knew something was wrong when Nicholas started having spasms.

Dr. Carson did have a little help from Dr. David Wallace, who is a neurosurgeon that was on the phone giving advise through the procedures.

Grounded by Sexual Orientation

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Meet Lieutenant Colonel Victor J. Fehrenbach, he is a fighter weapons system operator and has been flying the F-15E Strike Eagle since 1998. He has flown the longest combat mission in his squadron's history. He was hand picked to fly sorties over the nations capitol, after September 11th.

The hero has accumulated over 30 awards and medals including nine air medals, one of them for heroism, as well as campaign medals for Kosovo, Afghanistan, and Iraq. He has since moved on to training over 300 new pilots out of Idaho. He is a good role model for attracting young men and women in the service of our country, but the Air Force is going to be discharge him from the service.

He hails from a Military family, his father was a retired Lt. Col. in the Air Force and his mother was an Air Force Nurse. He even earned a full scholarship to Notre Dame from the Air Force ROTC. The US government has spent $25 million in training and equipment to help Fehrenbach, but let the insanity begin.

He is set to be discharged for being gay. I can see discharging someone for being a danger to unit cohesion, or to morale, or to good order and discipline, but for being gay? Lt. Col. Fehrenbach appeared on MSNBC's Rachel Maddow show to try and appeal to remain in the service after serving honorably for 18 years.

Links:
Do Not Diddle Inmates
Soda Killer
He's A Doctor, Not A Driller
Yeah? Well Your Grounded Because Your Gay

Give A Tank

2009-05-19T11:41:00.003-07:00

Panzer Pappies

German Dads are getting ready for Father's Day with a new trend dethroning the typical beer buying. Traditionally, droves of men would drink until they pass out at a local bar. Luckily, some fathers are getting the chance to drive Soviet-era T-55 tanks.

The German Father's Day is held on the public holiday of Ascension Day. Its a holiday that dates back to the 18th century known as Herrentag (gentleman's day). The annual event of drinking with mobs of rowdy men has long been criticized by feminists. Germany's Family Minister Ursula von der Leyen, a mother of seven, has urged fathers to spend the day playing with their kids & be rewarded with flowers and/or chocolates rather than booze.

Leave it the German travel agency TUI, to come up with the alcohol alternative tank driving lessons. The company wrote in a press release, "Tanks fascinate all boys, big and small. We offer trips in armored tanks, driving around Germany's biggest playground for men -- it's an ideal gift for Father's Day."

Dads will get a short and quick course on how to control the 14 ton death machine. Then they get 30 minutes of supervised rampaging through a practice field in Brandenberg. For an additional fee they will be allowed to plow the tank through an old car.

And you were thinking of a card... Just goes to show you who likes their dads a little more.

Bacon Snack To Get Fighter Jet

Richard Willams, 22, attended an auction, because his mother Diana was in charge of the catering. She promised him a free bacon sandwich, but ended up leaving with a L29 Delfin fighter jet used to train Russian pilots during the cold war.

The jet is from the 1960's, but is in working order and came with a full service history. Williams father Kevin, 50, a semi-retired antiques dealer had spotted the same plane a week before at a different auction, decided to leave the room rather than give into temptation.

Richard runs his own business restoring classic Mini's, just dove in and spent thousands on a boyhood dream. He said, "It’s every boy’s dream to own their very own fighter plane but I didn’t even know anything about the auction until 20 minutes before it was due to start. My mum was catering at the sale and rang me up telling me to pop down and get a bacon butty on the house. When I got there I grabbed the sandwich just as the bidding was starting. I was instantly smitten so before the hammer went down, impulse took over and I threw my hand up. My heart was thumping and adrenaline racing. It was a real thrill. My father has been to countless auctions so I remembered his advice. I had a sum in my head that I was not going to go above and I kept my nerve. I still cannot believe it when I open my window in the morning and see the plane sitting in the garden. I have to pinch myself. It’s not like I have money to burn, I just saw an opportunity and went for it. I hope it pays off in the long run.”

Sedona Cries Heard in Phoenix

An unidentified and mysterious UFO was floating all over Arizona on Monday. People initially suspected that it was a UFO, but as you got a closer look, it was evident that it wasn't a normal weather balloon or a space ship full of aliens.

Turns out the giant floating device was a NASA research balloon. The four thousand pound device is used to measure gamma ray emissions in high altitudes. The balloon was launched around 7:30 a.m. on Sunday morning from Fort Sumter, N.M., and landed around 9:00 p.m. around Kingman, AZ. NASA Officials say that the balloon floats around an altitude of 130,000 feet, and on a clear day can be seen for approximately 170 miles.

Jennifer McCoy runs the UFO Store in Sedona with her husband was told by another local resident about the object around 2 p.m. McCoy stated that the balloon stayed in one place for a while and was skeptical that people would take her seriously, when the UFO Store is reporting a UFO. McCoy describes the device as, "looked like the gigantic bubble from the Wizard of Oz.”

Right In The Eye.

Vidal Mendoza Sr., 34, of Bakersfield, California is accused of biting out an eye of his child and mutilating the other eye. To move further up the father of the year ranking, he left his apartment in a wheel chair and entered the backyard of a vacant home...to take an ax to his own legs.

Angelo Mendoza, 4, was left blind by the attack from his father. He told police, "My daddy ate my eyes." Doctors at Mercy Hospital said that its unknown if Angelo will regain vision in the right eye. Desirae Marie Bermudez, 23, the mother of Angelo, was not present at the time of attack. Probably due to the fact that there is a $15,000 warrant for her arrest, because she failed to complete a drug treatment program.

Both Vidal and Desirae were charged with being under the influence of PCP in 2006. A search warrant report said that Vidal was, "displaying symptoms of being under the influence of PCP."

Mendoza is being held on $1 Million in bail, has been charged with Mayhem, Torture, Child Cruelty, and Inflicting Injury to a Child. These charges if guilty would be added to the convictions for drugs, battery, check forgery, and a previous count of misdemeanor child endangerment.

Links:
Panzer Pappies
Bacon Turns Into Fighter Jet
UFO or NASA
Eye See What You Did There

Vitamin R

2009-05-17T12:54:00.005-07:00

Stripper Spots Fakes

Lets all meet Michael Harris, 40, of New York. Harris decided to go traveling to peep-show parlor in Gotham City while carrying a load of counterfeit $10 bills. His night was going well until about 5 a.m., until an eagle eyed stripper spotted the fake bills and notified the manager.

Harris then tried to ditch the funny money and bolt from the establishment, but he was caught by the manager and held until police arrived on the scene. Investigators found some more of the fake cash in his boot. Police Investigators say that Harris entered the building with 28 counterfeit notes, which were made on a Ink Jet Printer.

Now the 3 time convict, Harris, was charged with 28 counts of criminal possession of a forged instrument (a felony), but was released after he posted $2500 in bail. His defense was the obvious excuse that he received the fake dough from a friend.

Now police haven't released pictures of the fictitious bills, but I believed they look like:

Chinese Sex Park

Welcome to Chongqing in China, where a new theme park is scheduled to open soon. Love Land Theme Park, is aiming to address taboos and improve sex education, but some of the residents of Chongqing see it as vulgar.

Now with the parks giant revolving sign could be the reason, but who wouldn't like a sign to be the scantly dressed lower half of the woman's body? Maybe the red color of the thong covering the lower half is driving people to think that it's inappropriate?

The Chinese Sex Park is based off another sex park in South Korea located in Jeju. The park Manager Lu Xiaoqing, says that the park is due to open in October and will improve sex education and help adults enjoy a harmonious sex life.

Inside the park, people will be able to view naked human sculptures, giant mock ups of genitals, an exhibition on the history of sex, and an exhibition of sexual practices in other countries. The Park is also going to be offering sex technique workshops and advice on anti-Aids measures.

Lu told the China Daily, ""Sex is a taboo subject in China but people really need to have more access to information about it. We are building the park for the good of the public. I have found that the majority of people support my idea, but I have to pay attention and not make the park look vulgar and nasty."

Hippies Return to Camping

With Summer approaching and the country knee-deep in recession and states looking at legalizing Marijuana to help with budget crisis, people are starting to scale back on their summer vacation plans. There is a new growth in travel industry, but not the expected cruises or theme parks. The Campgrounds are getting busy and reporting a surge in visitors who can't or don't want to spend the extra money on the hotel. Is it cheap or the reemergence of the typical family vacation?

With people changing their spending habits, its easy to see why some are forgoing the luxuries of full service hotels and expensive vacation trips, when nearby hippies are shelling out around $15 for a place that has access to electricity, toilets, and showers. The outdoors allows people to escape the daily news of businesses collapsing, people going homeless in droves, and rich people crying because they can make more money. Maybe the escape to the woods with a tent, good friends, food, and drinks is what people need.

Looking past the hippies, campgrounds have surged during times when the economy was tanking or tough. Camping has upgraded since the 60's and the changes to campers have made staying out in campsites easier. Just plan where you are going and just try to avoid the hippies and the vacation is sure to be a hit.

So You Think You Can Dance?

Lets meet Cody Costantini, 14, of Feasterville, PA., who has been barred from attending a public school dance. Nechaminy school officials tell Costantini that rules will prohibit him from attending the "District Social." Costantini is a Pennsylvania Cyber Charter School pupil and plans to attend Neshaminy High School next year, is not allowed to attend the end of year dance.

His denial is due to the fact he wasn't enrolled in a public school this year. This reason is a technicality of a District Policy. His great aunt Carol Steiner and representatives at the cyber

Constantini said, "I'm annoyed because I wanted to see all my friends. I miss them. It's kind of unfair, especially because I went there and I'm going back." Constantini lives across the street from Poquessing Middle School, which he attended in the past.

Steiner said, "I think it's mean. I can understand their concerns like political issues around cyber charter school though that the law granted him the right to participate in the extracurricular activities in the home district, if the charter school doesn't provide them. from the kids taking money from suburban schools, or worried about troublemakers. It's not open to the public, or other kids. They want to keep it close and neighborhood-oriented. But he's from the neighborhood and the school. He didn't leave on negative conditions."

Links
Stripper Spots Fakes
Chinese Sex Park
Camping Comeback
No Footloose

John Mayer Can Stop Waiting

2009-05-14T16:14:00.003-07:00

Dreams Shattered

Welcome to Newton County, Georgia, the home of the newest case of "Zero Tolerance" in public schools. This time the reaction might be too much for even today's tougher restrictions and over sensitive society.

Meet 10 yr old Alandis Ford, who was arrested, finger printed, and charged with terrorists acts and threats. All of this for a $5.95 cap gun that he brought to school. Now this gun doesn't look like a Glock or Smith & Wesson. It looks like a toy cowboy six shooter that the kid was learning about in 5th grade history class. Which is why he took it to school.

His mother Tasha Ford said, "We got it from Wal-Mart for $5.96," Tosha Ford said, "in the toy section right next to the cowboy hats. That's what he wanted because it was just like the ones he was studying for the Civil War"

Newton County Sheriff's Deputies didn't arrest him at school, they waited until the boy got home. Alandis opened the door for the police and they searched through the house looking for the "Real Gun." Afterwards they booked and fingerprinted the kid.

Lt. Mark Mitchell said that Alandis had used the toy gun to threaten other kids on the school bus, so he was charged with possessing a weapon on school property and with terroristic acts and threats. The school bus driver didn't hear the "threats," so never confiscated the toy.

"A toy gun is a toy gun," Lt. Mitchell said, "to be played with and for kids to have fun with. But when kids use it the wrong way, just like anything, then it can be scary."

Ford said, "Someone heard that Alandis had a toy gun in his book bag and said, 'Oh, Alandis is going to bring a gun, he's going to shoot everybody.' Alandis was wrong, he should never have taken it to school. I told him that. And he's being punished. But also on the other side of the coin, I think it's a travesty what's happened to him.... For them to say that's he's made terroristic threats is just ridiculous. We've taken it and changed what 'terroristic threats' was meant to be for. And with children saying that 'he's got a gun, he's got a gun,' it's gotten blown out of proportion.... I don't think they handled it very well. I know it's their job, but I think they took it to the extreme."

The Director of Public Relations for the Newton County School System, Sherri Viniard, emailed a statement to a local news station that reads:

"Student safety is our primary concern, and although this was a toy gun, it is still a very serious offense and it is a violation of school rules. We will not tolerate weapons of any kind on school property."

When Alandis was asked what his dream job was when he grows up.... a police officer. Even after the events he still wants to be police officer. Its a shame the events unfolded this way.

Cheerios Fix

Drug addicts and fiends have been lining the aisles in stores for the newest legal "drug," as declared by the FDA. Cheerios has been around since 1951 and on May 12th the FDA decided to declare Cheerios a drug, based on the statement made on it's label.

Now Cheerios has been known as a gateway drug, leaving kids full after breakfast, helping adults low their cholesterol and providing fiber in peoples diets. Unfortunately the side effects are cravings for Frosted Flakes, Count Chocula, or Capt'N Crunch.

The sad part is that the FDA has decided to classify a cereal as a drug, rather than find out what actual ingredient in Hydroxycut is causing liver damage (since most ingredients are found in other "diet" drugs).

"Based on claims made on your product's label, we have determined that your Cheerios Toasted Whole Grain Oat Cereal is promoted for conditions that cause it to be a drug," the FDA said in a letter to General Mills which was posted on the federal agency's website Tuesday.

Cheerios (the best selling cereal in the US) has used clinical studies to back up claims that eating the cereal can help lower bad cholesterol, a risk factor for coronary heart disease, by four per cent in six weeks.

"Because of these intended uses, the product is a drug," the FDA concluded in its letter. This means that General Mills may not legally market Cheerios unless it applies for approval as a new drug or changes the way it labels the small, doughnut-shaped cereal, the FDA said.

General Mills stood by its claims, even citing that the health claim was FDA approved 12 years ago...OOPS. The FDA is really upset with the design of packaging and their website. General Mills said, "We look forward to discussing this with FDA and to reaching a resolution."

Cripple Fight!!

Welcome to Corpus Christi, Texas, the newest location of major douchebaggery. Two students that go to the Corpus Christi State School, were video taped by an employee fighting, while a 3rd kicked them when they were on the ground.

Now this wasn't just an ordinary fight between students. Luckily for the mentally disabled students, employees scheduled fights for them and recorded them on cell phones. Police were able to obtain 16 videos between 2007 through 2009 with the fights recorded with cheering in the background.

Timothy Dixon, 31, douche bag extraordinaire and former employee is accused of filming the "fight clubs" on his cell phone. There are 11 asshats (former employees) that are charged with organizing the bouts.

Bob Hilliard, an attorney for a former resident of the school said, “The video is clear at how poorly people can treat the disabled.”

Links:
Police Fail
Fiber Lines
Fight Club @ School

Obamazona

2009-05-13T11:48:00.002-07:00

Space The Final Dumping Ground

Captain's Log, Star Date 5132009.430. The Space Shuttle Atlantis is in danger as it attempts to repair the Hubble Space Telescope, with all the space garbage floating around. The problem with the junk is that its flying around the Earth at 20,000 mph (take that nascar..right turn), is that an object the size of a pea would shred right through the shuttle.

The crew is going to attempt to make some upgrades to the telescope in under one week. The new additions will include some new batteries, gyroscopes, and cameras. The reason for so much concern is that with all the pieces of broken and shattered satellites, the space crew can only detect pieces down to 2 inches.

Unfortunately, NASA has no plan at this time of cleaning up the debris, but I would say that since the Endeavour Shuttle is prepped and read in case of emergency, lets equip a space net and skim the outer gravitational rings (like a pool).

Australia Fails Warning System

What if there was a way to warn people about a tragic event, like a massive fire that wiped out homes, cars, pets, and wild creatures? Now ask the same question, but you know the answer is absolutely, and it could be used to interrupt radio and television broadcast, but ask yourself would you have used it?

A Victorian bushfire's royal commission has heard that the Standard Emergency Warning Signal can broadcast a siren and interrupt radio and TV signals with a message to warn listeners of an emergency. Yet, Authorities decided not to use the emergency service during a tragic brush fire known to many around the world as "Black Saturday."

The geniuses decided that the use of the system would desensitise people to the alarm. Not only did they not use the service, they didn't even bother an attempt to discuss using it during the lead up to "Black Saturday."

Now lets introduce Emergency Services Commissioner Bruce Esplin. When he was asked if the Emergency signal could have been used to warn communities of the fires, he responded with the intelligent answer of, "I'm not in a position to answer that question for each of the towns."

He followed up the comment with, "It's a balance between not overusing the ... sound and therefore desensitising the community to its importance and having a method which is as efficient ... as possible."

Unless authorities are firing off an emergency alarm system twice a day for 3 months straight, I think people would have paid attention... Especially if there was a message right after it say, "Take what you can and get the F out! Big Fire tearing through everything and anyone. Also, a firefighter will get to give water to a Koala from his water bottle for Epic Hero Picture."

Its hard to see failure at such a massive level. It's like watching Manny Ramirez get banned 50 games for steroids, after signing some ginormous contract... oh wait.

Groomer's Death Dog

Meet the Marczuk Family of Castle Rock, Colorado. They have filed a lawsuit against PetsMart, due to their 2 year old Yorkshire Terrier, Buddy, was killed during a grooming visit.

Buddy was apparently attacked by a store employees dog on April 12th. The murder took place 30 minutes after they dropped him off at the store. Police cited Crystal Marie Cruz for, "having a dangerous animal." Crystal's dog is a bulldog mastiff. She is expected in court on Weds for a misdemeanor.

Jessica White, spokeswoman for PetsMart said that Cruz herself had brought the dog in to be groomed that day, but can't discuss the case any further. The family wants to force PetsMart to change their polices, rather than sue the individual for having control of their animal.

Links:
Space Junk
Australian Alarm
Dog Groomer Incident

Schools Out

2009-05-12T17:47:00.003-07:00

Squeegee FTW

Welcome to Boulder, Colorado, where a local Red Robin employee was washing the restaurant

Police Spokeswoman Sara Huntley said that the employee picked up his squeegee and told the would be robber, "You don’t have to do this. All I have is a little cash." The robber was spooked when a women came out of a nearby hotel. window's on Friday, when another man attempted to rob him with a knife. The man called police around 7:10 p.m. and told them a man walked up behind him holding a knife to his back demanding his wallet.

New Weed Hiding Spot

A police office was shocked on Monday, when they had to arrest a man for making threatening statements to officers. Originally, they were called out due to a disturbance. The man was in possession on some Xanax pills, but decided that it was better to hide the bag of weed in the patrol unit under the backseat.

Police confirmed that the Patrol car doesn't have a spot to hide your weed.

iPod Crusade

Microsoft has decided to take their war with the Apple to a whole new level. Microsoft has started to make strategic moves with a new ad campaign targeting the billions that Apple has made with people paying to fill their iPods. They plan to use the $15 Zune Pass music rental program.

Wes Moss will host the $15 Zune Pass program. Microsoft claims that users can enjoy more music on the $15.00 a month program and save thousands of dollars. It would take $30,000 to fill up a 120GB iPod, which is a good point in a tough economic state, but fails to disclose how long the "rentals" would last.

Microsoft is planning to have a flurry of Twitter buzz about a Zune-like product to be released in June. Microsoft has codenamed the project "Pink." Microsoft originally denied the rumors, but their own twitter page tells a different story. It's asks people to hold off buying a new iPhone for a new product to launch in June.

The product is believed to be the Zune HD, but knowing Microsoft it will be something that is wonky, designed awkwardly, and restrictive to use. Microsoft's Marketing team needs to come up with new "attacks" on Apple, because they do a bad job in selling the good points of any of their products.

Ford Flexes Some Muscle

Ford Motor Company is trying to rebuild its wealth to stay off U.S. aid. Ford announced that it will issue 300 million shares of common stock in a public offering. It even said that it will use some of the money for a Union-run medical trust.

According to Bloomberg data, the new shares will price today. Ford has 2.8 billion shares outstanding as of May 1st, so the new stock would be an increase of 11 percent and raise $1.8 billion based on Monday's closing price. The registration of the new stock is the first time that Ford has offered common shares directly to the public.

Chief Executive Officer Alan Mulally is taking advantage of shares that have more than tripled since March 4, when the second-biggest U.S. automaker announced a plan that pared debt by $9.9 billion. General Motors Corp. has lost 35 percent of its market value in that time.

“We continue to make strong progress on our transformation plan,” Mulally said in a statement yesterday. The offering is “another example of the fast, decisive action we are taking.”

Links:
Squeegee Supreme
You Don't Hide Your Weed In There
iPod Crusade
Ford Rebounds

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T21:04:00.005-07:00

Timberlake Revives SNL

Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg were able to recapture gold when they reunited with a sequel to the online hit, "Dick in A Box" video on Saturday Night. "Mother Lovers," starts with the duo leaving a jail with their boxes in hand, when they come up with a solution to a problem.

This is Justin Timberlake's 3rd time hosting SNL and some people are comparing him to Alec Baldwin, who continually appeared on the show and has had some of the best skits on Saturday Night Live. The new SNL digital short even included Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clarkson playing the Mother's that needed some loving.

Pipe Bomb Fail

A Bus Driver in Hempstead, New York, found two pipe bombs in her driveway on Friday and decided to place two pipe bombs in her empty school bus and attempt to deliver them to the police, rather than waiting for experts to arrive on site.

An unnamed source for the New York Times said that the woman wrapped the possible explosives in a blanket and tossed them into the bus and started driving to the nearest police station. While on the way she contact authorities to explain the situation, when she was told to pull over and wait for the Bomb Squad. Luckily the Bomb squad was able to take care of the bombs without incident, but her employer was upset with the woman's actions.

"It's unacceptable in every possible way," an Atlantic Express spokeswoman said. "She will not be driving for this company again."

Super Soldiers

Government troops were sodomising local pygmies in the eastern Democratic Republic of Congo back in March. The troops told regional rights groups that they believed they would gain supernatural powers for the acts.

The Human Rights League of the Great Lakes said, "Some soldiers from the 85th Brigade sodomised three male pygmies to gain supernatural powers and protection in Kisa village in Walikale territory. The village chief was stripped and (sodomised) in the presence of his wife, his children and daughter in-law. The children in turn were stripped and raped in front of their father."

The Human Rights league also went on to say that armed groups in the region would also abuse the pygmies. Unfortunately, there are no documented effects of what Supernatural powers are given by pygmies. I think they can cure the swine flu.

Soldier Told He'd Never Walk, Finishes Marathon

Meet Phil Packer, 36, a British soldier that was told last year that he would never walk again. Packer proved everyone wrong by completing the London Marathon 13 days after it started, while doing it on crutches. Packer's doctor would only allow the hero to walk 2 miles a day, but he competed to raise money for charity.

The finish line was surrounded by cheering soldiers and supporters, as an emotional Packer crossed the line. He defied the medical opinions after his lower spine was severely injured due to a rocket attack on his base in Basra, Iraq. He remained in the hospital for four months, when he decided to complete three challenges to attempt to raise $1.5 million for Help for Heroes.

The three challenges were to row the English Channel, complete the London Marathon, and climb El Captain. In February, he completed the first challenge. Next was the marathon, which he knocked out of the park. The 3rd is hoped to be completed next month in California. Packer remains just short of his goal of the $1.5 million by a mere $558,000 and still accepting donations.

Packer said, "It's looking after our injured servicemen. There's a lot of people that can't do this, so this is for them." Earlier in the week he said with an interview with CNN, "I wanted to be able to move on in life. I wanted to do something for other personnel who had been wounded. I don't want to be helped. I want to help other people. Not that I'm not grateful, but... you know... I really want to be able to help people."

British Prince Charles is a among people who have expressed support for Packer. On Packer's website, Prince Charles wrote, "You are, if I may say so, a credit to the Royal Military Police and to the British Army as a whole."

Links:

Mother Lover's

Bomb Disposal Fail

Super Soldier Serum

War Veteran turns Superhero

Saturday Showdown

2009-05-09T11:39:00.003-07:00

New Father's Application for Father of the Year
Let Me introduce you to Christopher Donnie Smith Sr., 41, of Lexington Park. On May 4th the sheriff's office learn that the man had assaulted his 13 year old son, by shoving the kid down the stairs. To propel himself as the number 1 contender for father of the year, he decided to punch his 16 yr old daughter in the face several time. He finished out his application with taking a handgun and aiming it at his wife and proceeded to tell her, "I'm gonna make you famous, I don't have nothing to lose."

What makes his application stand out is the propensity for violence and the fact his son was wearing leg braces at the time of the assault. This guy is such a winner.

Math Teach Learn the Answer to Pi
Meet Allen James Guerin, 28, from Haines City, Florida. Guerin was arrested for unlawful sexual activity with certains minors. Guerin is married and recently became a father.

Guerin developed a personal relation with a 16 yr old student that he met when coaching cross country, back in August of 2008. He kept contact with the girl via text messages and cell phones. The genius decided that posting about his new found love on his Myspace page was a good idea. He stepped up his game when he started getting physical in Jan.

A few days later of completing his conquest, he told the girl that his wife found out about their relationship, because of the MySpace page and that he had to end it. Then on Thursday, May 7th, the girl asked Guerin what to say about their intimate relationship and he replied with, " tell them it's not true, say nothing happened, and deny it."

Sheriff Grady Judd said, "I do not understand why highly educated school teachers continue to engage in sexual relationships with the students they are entrusted to teach, but I promise that we will continue to put those in jail who take advantage of our children."

Throwning Missiles at Cops
Justin Keith Campbell, 23, from Georgia is an airman for the United States. He was attempting to get a ride from an Okaloosa Sheriff's officer, by throwing rocks at the patrol car.

The deputy noted that he had to take evasive actions, so he wouldn't loose a windshield from Nolan Ryan. The airman was charged with throwing deadly missiles at an occupied car and criminal mischief.

Wii Solves Murder
Johnny Collins, 38, of Miami, Florida is set to be charged with the murder of 40 year old Nestor Estifani. Estifani had his throat slashed after a three-some took a wicked turn.

Police were able to life a fingerprint off the Nintendo Wii, which helped them identify the murder.

The murder was first reported when he was found by his boyfriend Dr. Cody Smith. Smith was returning from a business trip out of town. The house was ransacked, but Collins left the Nintendo Wii behind, which had another man's prints on it.

The man has a long history of robbery and drug convictions. During his questioning by police that he told them about the drinking, doing drugs, and sexual romp gone wrong.

He told police that Collins told him that he cut the man, "From ear to ear." Backing the story, police were able to confirm that the man-goo found on Estefani was matched to Collins.

Links:

Father of the Year

Math Teacher Fails

Missiles at Cops

CSI Wii

Tuesday Trifecta

2009-05-05T18:49:00.003-07:00

Terrible Roadski Accident

A secretary was increasing her employer's productivity, when a freak accident took place. The employer was receiving an oral demonstration from his employee when a van that was in the process of backing up hit the couple in their parked car. The impact of the crash caused the 30 year old woman to bite off the man's penis.

The accident occurred in a Singapore park, where the couple would meet after work. Even better, the woman's husband had hired an private investigator to keeps tabs on her. The investigator actually called the ambulance after hearing the woman scream and noticed that her face was covered in blood.

He told local media reporters, "On reaching the park, they did not alight from the car. Not long after, the car started to shake violently. After the car was hit by the van, there was a loud scream from the woman whose mouth was covered with blood.”

Television Characters Freak Out

Police were called to the Welcome Holiday Park in Dawlish, Devon after a massive fight broke out during a fancy dress party. Ten people were held after the clash occurred in the main club. An Oompa-Loompa, Spiderman, and Tinky Winky were kept in police cells over night. The police questioned the 3 on suspicion of violent disorder.

A staff member told the press, "It was rather comical in some ways because of the fancy dress costumes people were wearing. You don’t expect to see Teletubbie Tinky Winky and Spiderman in the middle of things like this."

He Fought The Law - FAIL

Welcome to Naples, Florida, where Graham Brunson, 21, was asked to leave a local bar and took things a little too far. Brunson thought that the best way to get back was to whip his penis out and pee right there at the bar. Unfortunately for Brunson, his brain stopped working when he decided to run from the police.

Police say that Brunson was causing a disturbance, yelling obscenities, and disturbing customers at the bar. Security asked him to leave, that's when his revenge plan went into effect.

Four police officers found Brunson hiding in bushed about a quarter mile from the bar. He tried to run again, but was tackled by Office Ian Rudnick. Brunson attempted to fight the officer, but Brunson's mugshot shows who really won the struggle.

After police were able to get Brunson into handcuffs he went limp and had to be carried into the squad car. While on the way to the hospital, Brunson was still resistant enough to spit blood on the EMT. Brunson was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting an officer with violence, and disorderly intoxication.

Links
Roadski No No
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I Wish It Were A Fun Day

2009-05-04T19:20:00.003-07:00

Let me introduce you to Dustin Carr, 28, of Sycamore Township. He is a suspect in a police pursuit that injured an office, because he "thought it would be fun." Unlucky for police, he is on the run again, after escaping custody earlier today.

The original pursuit started when Office Doug Boland, 20, of Deer Park pulled over Carr's vehicle for suspicion of driving under the influence. While Boland was conducting a field sobriety test, that is when Carr allegedly took off on foot.

Boland chased down Carr and after a short while tackled him to the ground. During a scuffle, both men received minor injuries with Boland injuring his knee and Carr hitting his head and injuring his eye. Both men were taken to the hospital and Boland was treated and released.

Police returned to the hospital to take him straight to jail, but somehow after being treated he was able sneak out undiscovered. Police are going to charge him with OVI, Resisting arrest, and fleeing. He we be facing additional charges once the police catch Carr.

Sex Offender Isle

Traveling to Miami, Florida where there is a growing community of sex offenders that are "being forced" to live as outcasts because of Miami's strict sexual predator laws. The members say that the city ordinance prohibiting sex offenders from living within 2,500 feet of where children congregate. They say that there is nowhere to live except the airport, under causeways, or the Everglades.

Osvaldo Castillo, 29, was convicted of molesting a 6 yr old child says, "People call this place a camp, like it's pretty and fun. It's not fun at all. We are living like animals and trying to make the best of it."

Carlos Martin, was convicted of exposing himself to a 15 yr old, said "Now, we gotta be our own city and every attempt we've made to fight this has failed, so we have to make this work."

Back in 2006, there were seven convicted rapists and child molesters registered in Miami-Dade County living in tents and shacks under the Julia Tuttle Causeway. Now officials say that there are over 65 men and one women in the colony.

Everyday Superhero

A Mariemont police officer didn't have time to think, when a Land Rover headed towards him and a pack of Flying Pig marathon runners on Sunday morning. Keith Lewis, 37, jumped on the hood and then swung himself in to the passenger side of the vehicle. Another bystander pulled the emergency brake and Lewis shifted the car. The woman driving the Land Rover was having a seizure at the time of the incident.

Lewis has been a member of the Mariemont police department for the last four years. He said, "It was instincts, just pure instincts. I didn't have time to think about what was happening. My main thing was trying to stop the car before it went right through the crowd. It was just the adrenaline and trying to put in practice everything I've learned."

Lewis was just 3 hours into an extra traffic detail when the Land Rover came barreling down upon him at 10 miles per hour. The SUV was stopped just a one hundred feet from the intersection. Mariemont Police Chief Richard Hines said, "Lewis happened to be in the right place at the right time and did everything right. It could have been a very different outcome. But it's just one of those things where we have a happy ending, and I'm glad."

Google Going Green

Mountain View, California is the headquarters for Google, Inc. brought in a herd of goats to cut the grass, rather than running lawnmowers. Google went on to say that the goats weren't employees, but felt they were "entitled to a free organic lunch."

Google said that it wanted to make a "low-carbon" approach with the goats. They even said that cost of the goats was equal to using lawnmowers, but the goats were "a lot cuter to watch." Google is not the only company to use goats to graze the ground, Yahoo the other search engine also uses cute goats.

Amazingly PETA had to make a comment about the YouTube video clip saying that they had no problem with letting the goats eat some grass, but are concerned with how they were transported and whether they had enough shelter and water.

Links:

Sex Offender Isle

Man Stops Runaway Car

Google Goats

Hulu Wins

2009-04-30T10:08:00.004-07:00

The Walt Disney Company has reached a deal on today to become a partner with the popular video website HULU. Disney had been in talks with NBC Universal and News Corp for some time prior to reaching the deal today. Disney is the only other media company to join as an equity partner. They also will gain 3 seats on the Hulu board.

Hulu will add full length episodes of the follwoing TV shows: "Lost," "Grey's Anatomy," and "Desperate Housewives."

Sex in the Queens Yard

A couple in their early 30's decided that the best place to have sex was on a private grass bank at the Queen's Palace, while Her Majesty was in the residence.

Unfortunately, the couple were watch by crowds of tourists, due to being in full view of the Castle's Garter Tower, near by hotels, pubs, and local shops. Some Japanese tourist were able to film the couple for over 20 minutes before they were arrested by Royal Protection Squad Officers.

Mark Robinson, 44, witnessed the event and said, "One window from the guardroom opened up and when a soldier saw what was going on he told his mates – and lots of windows opened. The couple did not care who was looking and just kept going as if they were in their own bedroom. They even ignored the 'Please Keep Off The Grass' signs. A few soldiers were cheering them on from above & plenty of young people did the same from the roadside. There were camera flashes going off and people videoing."

Manhattan Building Collapses

A 5 story building collapsed on a lower Manhattan construction site on today. Fire officials say that no one was inside when it came down.

The collapse happened early in the morning, just before the normal busy flow of pedestrians and traffic. The front half of the building looks like it was sheared off and the interior floors are visible from the street. A car on the street was covered in rubble.

Lewis Largent lives directly across the street said, the bricks started trickling off the top corner. I was thinking was it raining or something. Then within 10 seconds it just all came down like a wave or an avalanche."

Lisa Schiller has lived in the neighborhood for 20 years and said, "We're a little freaked out about it." She saw the rubble when she came out for her morning walk.

Squidling Blackened and Bitten

Octomom Nadya Suleman was question yesterday by local police and child welfare officials, due to her 4 year old Autistic son showing up to school with a black eye and bite marks. Orange County's Child and Family Services and 2 La Habra Police detectives visited the Suleman's home, but there were no indications of any actions being taken on the mother of 14.

Police have said that they have made several visits to the Suleman's home in the last year to respond to complaints about lost, trapped, or poorly cared for children. Orange County Social Services Spokeswoman TerryLynn Fisher said that her department can't confirm or deny any welfare investigation because of confidentiality laws.

Suleman's attorney says that the boy looks like the black eye came from a fall and the bite marks may have come from one of her 2 year old twins.

He told the Associated Press, "Poor Aidan, he falls a lot.He jumps at noises and things and bumps furniture and walls. I know CPS takes is very seriously. Nadya's best option at this point is finding the young culprit and issuing a punishment. Nadya says she grounds them, takes their favorite toys away - the typical things that a mother will do. Aiden is a special case"

Links:
Disney Buys In

Royal Sex

Manhattan Meltdown

Octomom Abuse?

Slippery Swine

2009-04-29T09:30:00.002-07:00

The World Health Organization has moved the alert level on the Swine Flu to level 4 out of a possible 6, but hasn't requested for travel restrictions or border closures. Many companies that travel to and from Mexico have halted from going to, until the spreading has gotten under control.

Dr. Nikki Shindo a W.H.O. flu expert said, "Swine virus has been found occasionally in human beings. The one thing we don't really understand is why the cases in Mexico are so severe." She continued by telling the Associated Press, "hundreds of thousands" of people in Mexico could be infected. The W.H.O. is looking into Mexican cases to see if there were underlying medical conditions that have caused people to fare worse there that the rest of the world.

Health authorities are also trying to remind people of threat of the swine flu. Flu deaths are common around the world and about 36,000 people in the U.S. alone die annually from flu-related causes according to the CDC.

In poorer countries such as Madagascar and Congo, they have outbreaks of seasonal influenza that can infect up to half of their population. Those cases have a mortality rate of one percent of the entire nation Dr. Shindo reminded.

California's Impact

San Jose, California, a Branham High School student has tested positive for the swine flu, which has prompted school officials to close the campus for a week. Health officials confirmed that a 16 year old girl was diagnosed with Santa Clara County's first case of swine flu.

Campbell Union High School District is alerting parents and students through its website on the positive test results and the possibility of the virus being spread. It asks parents to monitor their children for symptoms of the flu.

Lone Star Infected

The Cleburne Independent School District says Cleburne High, Team School and the Phoenix DAEP campus are all closed due to suspected cases of swine flu. It states that it will update their website of the latest developments to keep students, parents, and the public informed.

The Houston Department of Health and Human Services has called for a new briefing on the morning of April 29th, due to confirming its first case of the Swine Flu.

The Dallas Department of Health and Human Services reported Tuesday that Dallas County has 3 confirmed cases and 6 probable case of the Swine Flu. They go onto to says that the illnesses are not severe and the patients on April 28th were recovering well.

Prevention

The Swine Flu has similar symptoms to the common flu so there are several tips to help avoid contracting the virus. Health Officials recommend frequent hand washing, getting plenty of sleep, staying physically active, managing stress, drinking fluids, and eating healthy foods. They also advise people to avoid touching surfaces that may be contaminated with the flu virus.

The CDC recommends the use of oseltamivir or zanamivir for the treatment and/or prevention of infection with these swine influenza viruses. There are also antiviral drugs that are prescription medicines that fight against the flu viruses.

Links:

Texas Flu Cases

California Flu Cases

Flu Help

NFL Draft Sunday

2009-04-25T14:09:00.003-07:00

The official announcement of Matthew Stafford as the highest paid player that has yet to play the game at a professional level is apparently aggravating for former players of the game. Only time will tell if he's like Peyton Manning or Ryan Leaf. Dion Sanders made a bold statement during a discussion on Percy Harvin's positive testing of Marijuana. He said, "At least 30% if the league smokes." That means on a team of 52 players at least 15 of them smoke.

Wal-Mart's Cheap Drugs Not Shipped Safe?

Welcome to Cedar City, Utah, where 3 men are singing a strange story about Wal-Mart and drugs. What started as a routine traffic stop for Iron County Sheriffs escalated when they found boxes of prescription medicine inside the car. The driver told police that they were going to be delivered to the Mega Store in Cedar City.

Diego Jimenez, Maricio Jimenez, and Kyle Gutierrez were stopped by Iron County Deputy Wade Lee, who clocked the trio at 96 miles per hour. Lee says that he grew suspicious when he saw a marijuana pipe in the glove box of the car. He then found 2 boxes of prescription narcotics and a stock invoice that shows the retail value for them at over $30,000.

Lee also states that 2 of the men admitted to being illegal aliens. While the driver says that he has been delivering the drugs for a company called "Nevada Courier" for several months. The police go on to say that they have made deliveries in Mesquite, 2 in Saint George, and then the 4th delivery wou ld have been in Cedar City.
Lee says, “I called Wal-Mart and they said yeah they were expecting a delivery and the driver was late.”

ABC 4 contacted Wal-Mart with questions, but got an emailed statements that reads:

"This situation is unacceptable to Wal-Mart. We maintain strict standards for courier companies that transport products for us. As this was a situation involving a contractor, your questions would need to be addressed by the courier company or the police."

Man, Hammer, and Bullet = Darwin Award?

Traveling up to Pleasant Lake, Indiana, where George Fath had moved his mobile home two months ago. The previous owner left a lot of trash and when Fath was cleaning up when he found a .22 caliber bullet in the yard. Fath has three boys and didn't want his kids to get hurt from it, so he attempted to dispose of it.

Fath said, "My hammer was outside so I took the bullet and put it on a rock and smacked it with the hammer. It went off and went into my belly and knocked me on my butt. I wasn't thinking about it. It was the dumbest thing I ever did in my life. I suggest nobody do it."

Fath had his wife call 911, because he was shot in the stomach. Fath told a local news station the bullet went into his stomach and doctors were able to remove it at the hospital.

Yet the police report states that the bullet didn't actually hit Fath. According to the police report, it actually reads, "Fath was not bleeding, and it did not appear that Fath was struck with the bullet. Fath suffered a minor abrasion to the area of his stomach."

Fish Fry Flounder?

Finally in Paris, Tennessee, a man on a four wheeler lost control and crashed into a crowd along a parade route. He injured 13 people, including a 18 month old, but authorities say that the driver suffered a seizure and that was the cause of the accident.

The accident took place at the annual "Worlds Biggest Fish Fry" event. Mike Shankle, the director of Emergency Medical Services said that the man was following a float when he lost control and slammed into the crowd. Shankle went on to say that 19 month old girl was sent to Vanderbilt's children's hospital with serious injuries. Most of the other 13 were treated for minor injuries and released. Shankle has stated that the driver of the four wheeler has had a history of seizures.

Links:

Wal-Mart's drugs from Mexico

Man escapes Darwin Award

13 Injured in Tenn. Fish Fry Accident

Earth Day

2009-04-22T09:07:00.003-07:00

Bail Outs A Bust?

Taxpayers are finding out that the government is vulnerable to fraud under the federal bank bailout program. A 250 quarterly report that is sent to congress is designed to eliminate "toxic assets" from finical institutions, but the special inspector concluded that its tilted in favor of private investors and creates, "potential unfairness to the taxpayer."

This report examines the $700 billion T.A.R.P. and was scheduled for release on Tuesday. Inspector General Neil Barofsky used blunt language and offered a series of recommendations to protect the public. He also takes the Treasury to task for not implementing previously given advice and then gives little praise for some of the created safeguards. The report states that the public-private partnership could total $2 trillion.

"The sheer size of the program ... is so large and the leverage being provided to the private equity participants so beneficial, that the taxpayer risk is many times that of the private parties, thereby potentially skewing the economic incentives," the report states.

The report also comes along when lawmakers have been demanding evidence that the government's role is unclogging credit and banks are being held accountable. Even though the injection of government money, bank lending has declined.

"In light of the fact that the American taxpayer has been asked to fund this extraordinary effort to stabilize the financial system, it is not unreasonable that the public be told how those funds have been used by TARP recipients," the report states.

"Over the last two months, we've significantly increased the amount of transparency into the programs, including actively measuring lending & requiring banks under the new capital program to report on how every dollar of government resources goes toward increasing lending to consumers and businesses," Treasury spokesman Andrew Williams said.

He Was The Law

Welcome to Oregon City, Oregon, where a former Clackamas County Sheriff's deputy was arrested on Monday night. Police were called out around 7:30 p.m. on a report of a domestic situation.

A woman called police from a nearby grocery store, after running away from the home. She went on to tell police that she had been injured in a fight with Brandon Claggett and he is "suicidal".

Police got to the home and entered into a standoff at the husbands home. Police were able to get a hold of Claggett on his cell phone, but he wasn't coming out anytime soon. Claggett was actually not at home and he was on his way to pick up his kids in Salem.

Officers convinced Claggett to meet them at the grocery store, where he was quickly arrested. Tuesday, police went to the house with search warrants and recovered evidence and several guns. Claggett was charged with kidnapping, menacing, unlawful use of a weapon, and assault.

Claggett resigned after 14 years on the Clackamas County Sheriff's force. Back in October 2008, he was accused of inappropriately touching a 20 year old woman who was with him on a ride along.

Your Sentence: Silence

Welcome to Pocatello, Idaho, where an eastern Idaho Judge lost his patience with a defendant's behavior. Judge Peter D. McDermott of the 6th District, ordered Nicklas Frasure, 23, mouth to be shut using duct tape.

Frasure is accused of violating his probation by not taking his medication. He was originally convicted of felony theft back in 2008. Frasure was released from a mental hospital back in October of 2008.

Frasure continually interrupted court proceedings with verbal outbursts and unusual behavior. McDermott order bailiffs to silence Frasure, so they could continue with proceedings. The bailiffs found a roll of duct tape, which they tore off a piece and placed it over Frasure's mouth.

Kent Reynolds, Frasure's lawyer had earlier asked the judge for a mental competency evaluation. Judge McDermott said that he would consider the request, but no immediate ruling on the request.

"He's obviously not mentally competent," Kent Reynolds told the judge.

At the end of the hearing, the judge ordered bailiffs to remove the duct tape and went on to further comment on how he hoped Frasure's condition would improve with being under state care.

As Frasure was being led out of the courtroom, he responded to the judge with, "You want to arm wrestle?"

Ninja Steals Fail

A "Ninja" attempted to steal the cash from a Weymouth, MA., dry cleaner on Tuesday. Unfortunately his stealth skills failed, when a convenience store clerk notice the man wearing a ski mask and carrying a sword.

Needless to say the clerk contacted the police, but when the robber noticed the clerk on the phone he pulled off his ski mask. When she confirmed that she was calling the police on him, he took off to a different store.

The ninja attempted to rob Galaxy Cleaners, but ran into another snag when the store clerk couldn't open the cash register. The ninja did have at least 1 skill that was working for him. Local police are still looking for the ninja, who is said to be in his early 20's.

Links:

Bail Out's Fail
He fought the law
Silence is Gold, but Duct Tape is Silver
Ninja Pirates

Tell Me On A Sunday

2009-04-19T15:57:00.006-07:00

NATO Versus the Pirates

We start our journey Nairobi, Kenya, where NATO forces rescued 20 fishermen on Saturday. Those pesky pirates launched an attack in the Gulf of Aden, were let go because the NATO forces had no authority to arrest them.

Within the recent weeks the number of pirate attacks has increased four times the amount from back in 2003.They have attacked at least 80 boats this year and now hold 18 ships and their respective crews hostage.

The release displays the difficulties of stopping the piracy scourge off the Horn of Africa. There were 2 attacks that were reported on Saturday. The first was in the morning, where pirates hijacked a Belgian-flagged ship and piloted the ship slowly towards Somalia. The second attack came later on Saturday evening, when pirates fired upon a Marshall Island flagged tanker. The Handytankers Magic, was able to get away from the pirates using, "Speed and Maneuver."

A Dutch frigate from the NATO force trailed the pirates to a Yemeni ship that the pirates were using as a home base. This ship would allow the pirates to extend their range of attacks. Still, the Dutch commandos were to free 20 fishermen and recover 7 automatic weapons and 1 rocket-propelled grenade launcher.

Roger Middleton, a piracy expert at a London based Chatham House said, "NATO sees its main role as deterring and disrupting pirate activity" — not prosecuting brigands. Pirates plucked from the sea by foreign militaries are being tried abroad. French soldiers take pirates who have attacked French citizens to Paris; pirates who have attacked other nations are hauled to Kenya, such as the 11 seized Wednesday when the French navy found them stalking a Lebanese-owned ship. India took 24 suspects to Yemen, since half were from there. The Dutch took five suspects to Rotterdam, where they probably will be tried next month under a 17th-century law against "sea robbery."

"When you weigh up the benefits — the huge money they can make — against the risks, the benefits are still worth it," Middleton said. "Piracy has definitely pushed Somalia up the agenda to a place where it probably should have been 12 or 15 years ago. People are beginning to see the consequences of letting the country get into such a mess."

Naked Kentucky Man Wielding Toilet Seat

Our next stop is Tucson, Arizona, where police say that Gary A. Decker,50, died several hours after officers had to use a Taser stun gun to subdue him. Decker, a resident of Kansas was staying in a downtown Tucson hotel, where police were called early Thursday morning because the staff heard loud banging and music coming from the room.

Sgt. Mark Robinson said that they had to use a pass key to get inside the room after Decker refused to open the door. Once inside they found the room ransacked, furniture broken, and Decker naked wielding the toilet seat he ripped off the toilet. They attempted to tase Decker, but it had no apparent affect. They eventually wrestled the man to the ground and placed him under arrest. Decker was originally in Tucson working as a temporary furniture liquidator.

Dramatic Rescue...For 7 Cows

Going across the pond to Burnham, England, 20 firefighters had complications attempting to save seven cows from a muddy English estuary. The rescue involved twenty firefighters and two hovercrafts on April 19th.

Investigators say that they believe the animals stampeded in the River Parrett in Somerset. The stampede may have been caused by possible gun fire. By the time the firefighters arrived, some of the cows were buried up to their neck in mud.

Firefighters used ropes and tractors drag the animals to dry ground. A Burnham Area Rescue Boat spokesman said the hovercraft were there to provided safety for the firefighters and helped herd the cows out of the river.

"The cattle were returned to their very grateful owner," the spokesman said. "Throughout the rescue the RSPCA were in attendance, and, as far as we know, the cattle were none the worse for their ordeal. We used ropes, mud mats, tractors and other equipment to help free the trapped animals."

Extreme Extermination

We close out today at the University of Victoria, were for many years they have been battling a losing battle against feral rabbits. The rabbit issue has gotten so out of hand that it is now spreading off campus.

No one at the university is aware of when the first rabbit appeared, but now they estimate there are over 1500 calling the school home. Now the university is getting demands from nearby neighbors, pressuring the school to cull the animals.

"The Rodenator," according to its U.S. Manufacture says, "it delivers a precisely measured mixture of propane and oxygen into the tunnel or burrow of invasive pests. This mixture is then detonated by the operator, causing an instantaneous underground shock wave of concussive force that eliminates the pests and in some (species specific) cases collapses some of the existing tunnel structure thus preventing immediate reinfestation."

This option is causing heated debates and not surprisingly, animal rights advocates are upset about the university considering this device. The university says that it plans to try non-lethal approaches first.

Links

NATO saves Fisherman

Toilet Seat Wielding Naked Man

7 Cows Saved

Bunnycide

8 Days A Week

2009-04-17T15:35:00.005-07:00

Friday starts out with bad news for the makers of the Lidocaine topical spray. Turns out the spray was intended to help slow down orgasms, but it has one really bad side effect. The spray ends up giving a rash on the men's penis and women get a burning sensation inside the vagina. They should turn the spray from a sex aide to a sex prevention tool.

She Can't Run From Her DUI

A young couple was out for a night of drinking, thought that they could drive home and outsmart the police. A 22 year old Auckland woman was arrested for making a false complaint and attempting to drive with excess breath alcohol.

According to North Shore commander inspector Les Paterson said that the couple told them they were going to walk to a taxi stand after being told by police not to drive home. Instead they dialed 111 and reported a false incident of masked men with guns robbing a service station. The pair denied making the call, so the police communication center redialed the number that called the 111. The phone that the woman was holding started to ring, much to her embarrassment.

"They had the brief pleasure of watching a bunch of police cars whiz past, they then jumped in their car intending to drive off in the opposite direction but a police officer took a detour on a 'hunch' and located them."

Teacher Earns a DUI

Welcome to Newburyport, MA, where a driving instructor was intoxicated while giving someone a driving lesson. The instructor will get to stay out of jail, but gets to lose his license for a year. He was also put on probation for the next 18 months.

Daniel Winsky, 53, of Salem was convicted Thursday of operating under the influence, while he was in the passenger seat of the car giving a lesson to a student. He was not behind the wheel of the vehicle during the December 2007 incident, but was in control of the brakes of the specially designed vehicle.

Police pulled over Winsky, after a convience store clerk called the police. The clerk apperantly smelled alcohol on his breathe and watched him climb into the auto schools car.

Oops: 2 Dead by Gun Shots at Anti-Gun Rally

We travel across the pond to London, England. Shakah Anderson, 28, is accused of shooting 2 men during an anti-gun rally at the Tudor Rose night club. The murders happened back in December 2002 and one of the victims Mohamed Korneh had been for a shooting in the same area early. The other victim was Selorn Gbesenete, 21, was attending Unarmed 2, an event dedicated to stopping gun crime among young black people.

Anderson, Korneh, and Anderson's accomplice were all carrying firearms according to the police. Anderson had been shot earlier in 2002 and Wayne Freckleton (Anderson's alleged accomplice) was killed in a shooting after the anti-gun rally. Anderson, of course denies the murders.

Hot Tub Filter Doesn't Removed Naked Man

Tony Punelli of Des Moines, IA, found a surprise in his hot tub early Friday morning. Police were called to remove a naked and unresponsive man from his hot tub just after 7 a.m. in Southeast Thornton.

Police extracted Ryan Hutton, 24, from Indianola from the jacuzzi. They confirmed that the man w

as intoxicated, but doing fine. Hutton told police that he had been drinking in West Des Moines and had no idea how he got into the hot tub, but thought he was in a known location. Hutton was arrested and charged with criminal trespassing.

"Pretty hard way to wake up - some stranger in your hot tub. I don't know how he got in here. It's pretty hard to get over that fence without a ladder. I thought I was dreaming, but I'm happy the man didn't drown", said Punelli.

Links

Bomb Threat fail

Teachers Report Card...DUI

Murder at Anti-Gun Rally

Naked Hot Tub

Day of Thor

2009-04-16T01:21:00.003-07:00

One Sick Mama

The FBI has filed a criminal complaint against Alejandra Arriaza,39, of Miami. She is facing federal kidnapping charges along side her boyfriend Angel Ponce, 37, and his nephew Joel Boza, 29.

Arriaza is accused of staging her own kidnapping, abducting her son, and standing by as an accomplice held a blow torch to her son's leg to convince the father the ransom demand was serious.

New details have been released about the charges and details on what exactly happened. Arriaza's plan was to get money that her ex-husband had received after selling a business, of which he stored some of the money at his home.

The complaint goes on to state that Ponce bought a pair of cell phones and Boza placed one in the back seat of the ex-husbands car. Of course they called the cell phone to demand money, but the ex-husband had called authorities who had recorded the conversations.

According to the complain, Boza had the idea to use the blow torch on the son to get get information on how much money the ex-husband had and they to use it to get him to cooperate with them He would place the blow torch close to the phone so the ex could hear it and then move it close enough to the boy to burn his leg hairs.

Once investigators tracked down the location of the trailer they were using, police arrested Ponce. He quickly revealed that Arriaza was in on the abduction. Boza was arrested last and confessed to the whole plan.

All three are facing possible life sentences if they are convicted of the kidnapping charges. The three amigos will be arraigned on April 27th.

She's Hot for Minors

Wendy White, 22, has been charged with 2 felonies for allegedly having sex with a 15 year old boy in May. The first charge is for forcible sodomy (which is a first degree felony) and the second is unlawful sexual activity with a minor (a 3rd degree felony).

Police Sgt. Manny Escoto interviewed the alleged victim, who states that he had taken some medication on May 21st that made him drowsy and he went to bed. The boy woke to White having sex with him.

“He woke up and told Wendy to get out of his room,” Escoto said.

“Wendy was crying and sobbing a lot when she was talking to me,” Escoto wrote in his statement, noting that when he first contacted White she asked if she was going to be arrested. “Wendy’s demeanor was that of a person who did something wrong and was trying to hide it.”

White told police during the initial interview that she had been drinking and entered the room to talk to the boy. She then went to tell investigators that the boy asked her to have sex with him and she briefly consented.

White was arrested and booked into the county jail. She posted a $10,000 bail and was released. She faces 5 years to life in prison if convicted of the forcible sodomy charge and 0 to 5 years on the charge of unlawful sexual activity with a minor. She makes her initial court appearance on July 14th in the 8th District Court.

He Just Loves the Kids, Just A Bit Too Much

Seattle Children's Theatre was informed that one of their employees was arrested on charges of child pornography.Homeland Security presented the company with a search warrant and conducted a search on the facility.

Jim Jewell said that the person arrested "pretty much worked in a room with a computer." He also stressed that the person was part of the administrative employee, not a teacher or director.

The US Attorney's office has since filed charges against William Hoke, who is the Children's Theatre IT director. He was arrested at his house and the charges are a result of a two year global child pornography investigation.

Hoke has been linked to a private server that was used to pass child pornography around to others through a password protected bulletin board system. Hoke joined the server in November of 2005 and made 260 posts. The server was seized and another server was setup. The second server was seized in September of 2008, which Hoke had posted 60 times between April and September of 08. When tracing the ip's, they traced bake to Hoke's address and work.

A Free Middle East Introduced to Western Scam Artists

Singer sewing machines are flying off the shelves in Saudi Arabia. Saudi police say that they have been investigating a hoax that has people rushing to buy the old fashioned model singer products.

The hoax states that the older versions of Singer products contain traces of red mercury (a substance that may not exist). Some believe that trace amounts could sell for millions of dollars according to the Saudi Gazette.

Rumors started spreading by word of mouth, then of course online. Some joke that the trace amounts could be used to find treasure, ward off evil spirits or even make nuclear bombs.

People have broken into tailor shops stealing the machines and some people have been seen holding cellular phones up to the machines, trying to detect the red mercury.

A ministry spokesman said,"We have to find out who started this hoax. People hope to make profit, this is no different to cases of citizens who put their money in untrustworthy schemes."

Links:

Mommy Dearest?

Minor wakes up to sex

IT director loves children

Singer Scam

Day of the Moon

2009-04-13T23:49:00.004-07:00

He's the Firestarter, Twisted Firestarter

Let's meet Mark Panko, 48, of Cincinnati, Ohio. He was charged with domestic violence and aggravated arson, due to the fact he shoved his wife and set their home on fire Thursday night.

Firefighters are saying that he lost his cool, because his wife and 4 year old son left him. The fire destroyed the couples house and put the firefighters life at risk. Firefighters believed that Panko was still inside the house and conduced several searches, until they were 100% certain that he was not inside the home.

"One possible theory based on their domestic history is that his setting the fire was revenge," Springfield Township Fire Chief Rob Leininger said

Panko was arrested in 2003 and was accused of grabbing and pushing his wife around when she told him that she wanted a divorce. A grand jury declined to deliver any charges against him.

Darwinist Heeds the Fall

A 39 year old Polish man tumbled to his death on Sunday in Seaton, Devon. The man was posing for a photographer, as if he was saved from falling off the cliff by a tuft of grass.

The Coastguard was called into the scene for rescue efforts, only to have paramedics declare the mad dead at the scene.

Maddy Davey, Portland Coast Guard watch manager, said: "The 39-year-old Polish man was posing for a photograph whilst holding on to a tuft of grass at the top of the cliffs. The grass gave way and he was seen by some tourists on the scene to fall down the sheer face of the cliffs and land in bushes at the bottom. It was the middle of the day. All the tourists were there, people along the cliff path, who witnessed it."

She Wants Your Teens...Sex

Now introducing Jacquelynn Faye Fielding, 29, from Marysville, California. She is facing up to 4 years in prison, after being convicted for having sex with a 14 year old Redding, California boy. She was also convicted of annoying or molesting a child and furnishing alcohol to a minor, which are both misdemeanor charges.

Fielding met the boy at a go-kart racing event in Red Bluff and Chico, California. They then developed a friendship using Myspace to communicate. According to Deputy District Attorney Michael Hemker, many of the communications between the 2 revolved around sex.

Hemker also went on to say that after months of conversations, they came up with a plan to meet at a friends house where the family was away for Christmas. This is where she provided alcohol and had sex with the young man. The prosecution was able to copies of the sexual conversations from MySpace, which helped to secure the convictions.

Bizarre Love Triangle

We end our little adventure in Chandler, Arizona. Students of El Dorado High School received terrible news that one of their fellow students was fatally stabbed last week.

Samuel Valdivia, 18, was purportedly stabbed due to being in a love triangle involving one of his teachers. Students of El Dorado spent Monday morning writing down what they would miss about Valdivia.

The man accused with stabbing Valdivia, is Sixto Balbuena, 20, from Tempe, Az. The incident occurred early Friday morning in the house rented by El Dorado High School teacher Tamara Hoffman, 48.

Hoffman has been romantically involved with the former student Balbueno and Valdivia, according to Chandler Police. She has since been suspended by the high school, pending an investigation.

El Dorado High School Principal Ramona Gonzales said, “He was a very well-liked young man, It's a big loss for us. (Staff and students) are very saddened and devastated.”

Links

Wicked Firestarter

Darwin Nominee

She Likes them Young

Bizarre Love Triangle Stabbing

Forced into Marriage at 8 Years Old

2009-04-12T19:04:00.006-07:00

Possible Darwin Award Winner

Welcome to the Lovely Northern Territory of Australia. Early yesterday morning, a 20 year old man and a friend had been drinking when they decided to swim across crocodile infested waters to get more alcohol.

Northern Territory police have found his remains near the Daly River Community, about 150 Kilometers south of Darwin. Police had set up an exclusion zone on the river as part of their search for the young man.

The Daly Superintendent Jamie Chalker said, "It's apparent that family members have seen the head of a crocodile making its way towards the man who's now missing, plus the other person he was crossing the river with. As we now know, one made it and one didn't."

She Eight and Already Wed

We go back to Saudi Arabia. Back in Feb. I posted an article about a father in Saudi Arabia that traded his 8 year old daughter to pay off his outstanding debts. Click here for the original article.

Today a Saudi Arabian judge has refused to overturn a ruling that allowed the arranged marriage between the 8 year old girl and her soon to be 47 year old husband.

Judge Sheikh Habib Habib, ruled for the second time in Onaiza that the girl's marriage to the older man was legal and binding. He did state that the child wife would be able to file for divorce, once she reached puberty.

Hair Today, Nipple-less Tomorrow

Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center had started to make public a list of patient-protection measures to ensure safety, due to a botched plastic surgery last year. These corrective actions are in response to a Department of Public Health investigation report.

The report indicated that the hospital failed Michael Hick, 40, last summer. Dr. Loren J Borud, was impaired and operated in Hicks and then sent him home without proper care. Hicks went in for a chest reduction and liposuction which has left him with scarring, pain, mental anguish, and caused him to lose his left nipple.

At the time of the surgery, hospital administration was aware that Borud had twice undergone substance-abuse treatment. Borud has since been fired and Hicks has agreed to a settlement.

“We recognize that our previous process did not result in timely reporting up the internal chain of command, and are confident the corrective actions we have taken will prevent that from happening again and greatly improve our entire process going forward,” Patricia Folcarelli, director of patient safety, said in a statement.

Hicks' case was the subject of an expose in the Sunday Herald. Hicks' lawyer said that he believes that the Herald's inquiries helped prompt the DPH's about face.

World Record Get a Tree

Lets met Otok Ben-Hvar, 71, decided that he was going to set a world record for the longest time spent in a phone booth. He climbed inside a 1940's era phone booth with wheels attached to it. He equipped the phone booth with everything he needs to live inside of it. He even went as far as having an old college buddy fashion it with a makeshift air-conditioning unit.

Ben-Hvar thinks that winning a World record will have 2 effects. The first would be for coursework at Pasco-Hernando Community College. The second is to get America's First National Tree planted on the White House lawn. He wants to see a silver leafed Maple tree planted in the front lawn.

"Every American can identify with that tree," he says. "That's why it belongs there."

Links:
Crocodile Darwin Nominee

She's Married only 8

Telephone Booth Living, Plant a tree

Its all fun till you loose a nipple

Jesus Enters The Octagon

2009-04-10T23:57:00.006-07:00

With Easter right around the corner, a Missouri church leader decided that to get more people in the pews, he would use a cage-fighting theme. The preacher states that the people disconnected from their faith (especially young men), would relate to the physical strain of the fighters. Then to compare that to the strain of Jesus on the cross.

Pastor Thomas Sykes said, “Jesus took every blow and he wound up being the victor. In the MMA world there is an expression, don't tap out and Jesus didn't.”

She's Got Legs & She Doesn't Know How To Use Them.

We start in Des Moines, Iowa where a woman was charged with driving while intoxicated, speeding, assault on a police officer and interference with official acts.

Sara Ann Fazio, 27, was stopped on Thursday shortly before 2 a.m. by Officer Eric Hartman. She was uncooperative and spit on the windows of the squad car on the way to the station. Then while in the holding area of the station, Fazio started removing her clothing.

Office Hartman described the incident in his report, "About midway through the implied consent advisory, this officer experienced a first after nine years on the department. The driver began stripping off all of her clothes while I read the implied consent advisory -- one clothing piece at a time. Eventually, she got down to a point where she was completely naked and walking up and down the holding area."

Fazio's listed place of employment is The Lumberyard, which is a local strip club.

Microwavable Crack Saves Hours

Lets meet Javaris Kirk, 28, allegedly admitted to making crack cocaine in a microwave. The arrest affidavit shows that he is being charged with six felony charges. Kirk is a convicted felon with no job and was in possession of a firearm with its serial number scratched off.

St. Lucie County Sheriff Detectives found traces of cocaine in glass bowls and 5.5 Ecstasy tablets in his bathroom. They also found a small amount of Marijuana and some hydrocodone pills.

The six charges that Kirk faces are manufacturing cocaine, possession of cocaine, possession of MDMA, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, possession of a firearm with altered serial number and possession of a controlled substance.

One Sick Puppy

Russell Lewis Oakes, 42, is facing 84 charges in England. Oakes would pose as a Vet and a doctor, assault his patients, and even castrated a pony. While posing as a doctor, Oakes would carry out a blood test and would issue false certificate of results.

Oakes is scheduled to appear in court on July 7th, Oakes will face allegations on fraud, sexual assault, and bodily harm dating back from 2005. Oakes has made an alleged £11,246.35 while posing as a vet and doctor, even though he has had no official training in either field.

Police Egging Local Hookers

Moving onto Gainesville, Florida, where 3 police officers received written warnings for going to the high crime areas while off duty harassing people.

Two officers testified that the purpose of going through the Porter's Neighborhood, was to "harass the prostitutes and drug dealers." They also say that heavy drinking and eggs were involved one time.

The officers involved were Brett Robison, Roy Long, and Joshua Hinson. Officer Kevin Smith is currently working for the University of Florida Police department. According to the court record, each stated that he actions were "stupid" and "Improper."

Links

Jesus Doesn't Tap Out

Shake Your Money Maker

Protect and Serve Egg Fastballs

Make Crack in just seconds

This is no ordinary Vet

Social Media Win

2009-04-07T11:01:00.005-07:00

By now most people have heard of the American Girl who saved a 16 year old British boys life, due to messages sent via Facebook.The young hero actually talked to her mother about what was going on and they called the White House and the British Embassy. If the reporting of plane crashes and earthquakes aren't a good enough reason, this seals the fact that social media's impact peoples lives greatly.

The British Have It Best

Brewers that "represent the best of British Beers," have called for a National Beer Day. Over 200 MP's have backed the campaigned labeled, "Save the great British Pub."

Bob Russel called for a motion on the government to adopt a five point plan to save the British pub. He states that the traditional pubs are being out priced by supermarkets, without the restrictions required by licensees of pubs.

Russel states that five pubs are day are closing down in the UK everyday. Beer sales are at their lowest level for nearly 40 years. He even said that the planned tax increases, "will place traditional public houses at even greater risk of closing down".

Leaving On A Jet Plane

The Wisconsin state capital building in Madison was forced to evacuate as a precaution, due to a stolen plane flying through that section of the state.

Federal and Military officials said that the stolen plane was Cessna 172, was taken at the Thunder Bay Airport, Ontario. It was forced to land after being trailed by 2 fighter jets. The plane landed on a section of U.S. highway 60. The pilot fled on foot after landing the Cessna, but was taken into custody after a short time.

The pilot refused communication with authorities through the entire flight. The pilot was a student at the Confederated College Flight School at Thunder Bay International Airport. The plane was stolen around 2:30 p.m. from the school.

"We don't know what the motive is. I wouldn't want to speculate on that. We are treating this with the utmost seriousness," said Mike Kucharek, spokesman for the North American Aerospace Defense Command in Colorado, while the flight was still under way.

The Curves of the World

Welcome to East High school located in Denver, Colorado. A geography class accidentally got a lesson in the geography of the human body.

A substitute teacher was looking to find a movie the class was supposed to be watching on Thursday, but found a pornographic film instead.

"A substitute teacher was having difficulty opening a computer presentation that was supposed to be shown to the class. While opening what was thought to be the correct file, a pornographic movie started to show on the screen of the computer. The movie was on the computer screen for just a few seconds," Principal John Youngquist said in a letter sent to all parents.

The advanced placement class had a total of 23 students and a mix of freshmen and sophomores. Luckily, only 6 students saw the film, because the teacher had yet to turn on the overhead projector.

The Denver Public School District is investigating the incident. They are not sure what action will be taken after the review and wasn't sure if the regular teacher was back to work on Friday.

Teens Unleashing the Phoenix from Axe Body Sprays

Staying in the great state of Colorado, we turn to Lakewood. Apparently, firefighters are disturbed by a rising trend of homemade flamethrowers.

"We've had a dozen young people charged with various arson crimes in the last month and all involved Axe Body Spray," said Cindy Matthews of West Metro Fire.

The fire department has started asking parents and teachers to caution youngsters and ignore the 200+ videos on Youtube, showing the mini-flamethrowers being ignited.

"Nearly a dozen young people are facing a range of charges after using the popular teenage cologne to set things on fire, including themselves," stated a news release from the fire department.

Axe has put out a video warning users to "use Axe responsibly." They are hoping their video can detour kids from causing another incident like back in 2007. Two kids were playing with the body spray flamethrower, and one suffered 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree burns on his body and face.

Links:
I'm in a Plane
To teach you sex

The Phoenix Unleashed

Fantastic Friday

2009-04-03T22:34:00.003-07:00

Two teachers at Palma Sola Elementary have been removed from the classroom. A child was repeatedly getting up from their seat, so the teacher decided that the easiest way to resolve the situation was to duct tape the youngster to their chair. According to a Manatee County Sheriff's report, the child says that the teacher used three pieces of duct tape to restrain him to the chair and then put him in the front of the classroom. A district official and state attorney's office state that they are still investigating the incident. The school district leader says that they can not release any further information on the case.

A Grenade For My Baby

The Erie County courthouse got a scare on Thursday afternoon. The county court employees and public were kept outside for over 2 hours because a Buffalo woman attempted to smuggle in a fake grenade.

A state court employee noticed the grenade when he spotted the outline on the x-ray machine. It took members of the Erie County Sheriff's Bomb Squad over three hours to determine that it was a fake.

Squad commander Dan Walczak said, "We performed diagnostic tests to rule out whether it was an explosive device, and determined it was an imitation grenade that would be used as a handle for a gear shifter in a vehicle.”

The woman identified as Tauyara Mapps, 24, was charged with first degree placement of a false bomb or hazardous substance in a public place. She was taken to a holding cell in Erie County and was expected to be arraigned on Friday April 3rd.

I Know Your Are only 13, but its Baby Time

Shana Brown, 32, of Uniontown, PA., was charged with drugging and giving her 13 year old daughter alcohol, so that her boyfriend could get the girl pregnant. Brown, is no longer able to have children (thankfully), but want to have a baby with her current boyfriend Duane Calloway. Calloway, 40, and Brown decided that drugging the girl was a good way to go, so he could have sex with the daughter without her knowledge.

Uniontown Police Detective Donald Gmitter said, "There’s some sick people on this case." Gmitter went on to state that Brown was charged with endangering the welfare of a child and Calloway faces several counts of attempted rape. The young lady told police that she rejected her mother's proposal to allow Calloway to impregnate her and then marry her back in December. Calloway had attempted to rape her three time in the following months to come.

When police searched the Brown residence, they found an empty bottle of rum, Tylenol PM, and a pill crusher.

The Creepy Tanning Booth in the Shed

Lets meet David Brown, 48, the son of Oak Hill Vice mayor Mary Lee Cook. He faces 3 counts of video voyeurism and was arrested in the small city in Southeast Volusia County. Two of the three charges are a felony, due to the fact that they involve a minors under the age of 16.

According to the affidavit of arrest, it was his own mother that called the police. Cook told police, "had gotten information" on her son video taping minors undressing and using his tanning bed. She also went onto explain that the original reason for the camera was to record thefts from a refrigerator. The tanning bed was in a shed that was behind the house. The camera was in a cardboard box with the lens sticking out and was pointed directly at the bed.

The girls had been using the bed for approximately four months, but about 2 weeks ago Brown put a lock on the door, so the girls would have to call ahead to use the tanning bed. Brown told police officers that the camera was placed in the shed, because he thought the girls were stealing from the refrigerator. He even went further to say that the girls turned the camera to face the tanning bed, but police say the refrigerator was empty.

Links:
Grenade fo r my man
Mother is na m e for love
Creepy tanning bed

April Fools Caught in the Act

2009-04-03T00:21:00.002-07:00

So this Week has been wonderful so far. All the major sites (minus Digg) have done something for April Fools Day. Youtube decided that it would celebrate by flipping everything upside down. Google created a fake auto-complete program for Gmail. Even Reddit got into the action by making their website look just like Digg. Maybe the best site was done by Switzerland, who decided that they would play off the Australia's Dream Job.

Now onto today's stories. Luckily, I get to share some stories that aren't Florida bound. It was difficult, but Florida really tried to squeeze in again with a few attempts. As always the links to the full story are at the bottom.

Calling Shotgun on the Wheelchair

Welcome to the Good Samaritan Christensen Village located in beautiful British Columbia, Canada. This retirement facility is where a wheelchair using woman is believed to have shot a facility manager Ken Perrier, who was attempting to evict the woman in her 40's who ended up being shot by local police. Both Perrier and the unidentified woman were airlifted to the local hospital on Tuesday night and are listed to be in serious condition.

"It appears that a 40-year old-resident, a woman, had shot one of the employees that was at her door," Corporal Peter Thiessen told reporters at the scene late Tuesday night. "There were four employees that were at the door that were in the process of evicting her. She ends up shooting one of them, departing, going out the front door on foot with a long-barreled weapon."

After shooting Perrier, the woman attempted to commandeer a vehicle and that's when the officers arrived on the scene. Officers told her not to get into the vehicle, but police shot her after she failed to respond to commands. "There were indications she may have been in possession of a second weapon," Cpl. Thiessen said.Police did recover a handgun and a shotgun from the scene.

An Army of One

Lets meet Christopher Chavez, 19, in Boone County. This new Army recruit was just a few short hours away from reporting for boot camp, but ended up in handcuffs instead. A drunken crime spree was the way he wanted to start his new army career.

Chavez was staying at a Airport Holiday Inn in Erlanger with some fellow recruits as they prepared for flying out for basic training. Chavez purportedly got in a fight with some other people on the 5th floor of the Hotel around 2 am. Chavez decided that it would be a good idea to grab a fire extinguisher off the wall, which in turn set off the fire alarm.

He then took the fire extinguisher with him to a Mobile Gas Station with the idea to get some more alcohol. Unfortunately, the Mobile was closed he decided that he would break in to get some beer. Police arrived on the scene, where Chavez was unsuccessful at breaking into the Mobile station. He went on to spit and curse at police officers as they attempted to handcuff the wannabe soldier. Police placed a spit mask on the retarded army of one, after they placed the cuffs on him.

Chavez was charged with alcohol intoxication and criminal mischief and was placed in the Boone County Jail.

Law Director Doesn't follow the Law

Law Director Mark Provenza resigned on Tuesday after being sent back to jail for violating his probation. Now the city of Lorain is searching for a replacement to fill the vacant position. Provenza had just been released from serving 90 days for DUI, when he was to get his blood monitoring ankle bracelet. Prior to getting the new leg accessory, Provenza admitted that he had been drinking beer.

Mayor Tony Krasienko says that Provenza stepped down after city officials went to speak to him. He went onto state that if Provenza didn't resign, that they would have no choice, but to pursue actions to get him removed.

In 2004, Provenza spent 5 days in the Bay Village jail for DUI. He was also convicted of DUI for hitting a fire hydrant in Lakewood. He also pleaded down a Parma Heights DUI to reckless operation. Then not to be out done, he pleaded no contest last year to DUI charges in Lakewood again. This time he rammed his wife's minivan into the front porch of a home on Bunts Road.

Links:
Shotgun Grannie – British Columbia

Soldiers spree before basic - boone county

Law Director no Judge Dread

Monday Splendor

2009-03-31T01:08:00.004-07:00

Ashley Biden's ex boyfriend is trying to sell a tape of the current Vice President's daughter snorting cocaine at a party. The New York Post's lawyers have seen the video say that the video shows woman with light skin and long dark hair taking a straw and snorts a line of white powder. Apparently at one point in the video she talks about her dad.

Death to Casual Friday

Welcome to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. David Daley was placed on administrative leave back in January due to a taking casual Friday to an extreme. Dailey stripped down to nothing but his socks and walked into a coworkers office. He was seen earlier in the day with a sign that said "It's Friday" and another sign that read, "Let's get naked."

Daniela Metz signed a waiver of prosecution, she states that she wasn't looking to get anyone into more trouble. The police report shows that Dailey had gradually progressed in his passes at Metz. Back in mid January, Metz was looking at body waxes and Dailey saw it on her PC. Later in the day, he called her into his office, where he purportedly had pictures of naked women on his computer that had "waxed themselves."

Throughout the next week, Dailey made more passes at Metz, which she ignored. Then casual Friday came along and Dailey called Metz's office and told her "I will do it if you do it.." in which she replied "Go Ahead." It was after the 6 times she told him to go away that he decided to show back up stripped down to his socks. When city officials found out about the incident, Dailey was put on administrative leave, only to resign on Feb 2nd.

Wife's Affair with a PlayStation

Carol Cannom, 46, was stabbed to death by her partner of 30 years. Malcolm Palmer, 62, was kicked out of his own bedroom due to his wife's obsession with a PlayStation unit and a copy of Grand Theft Auto.

They originally bought the PlayStation for their son, but Cannom was quickly addicted to playing the game throughout the night. Prior to the attack, Cannom told Palmer to start looking for a new home and threatened him that he would never see his kids again. Palmer was convinced that she was having an affair and attacked her with two knives.

Their 10 year old son contacted emergency services, where operators were able to hear the struggle in the background. Soon after Palmer picked up the phone to say, "I'm sorry. I think I've killed her."

Wrong Way to Teach a Child

Sandra Kaye Ingraham, 60 and her daughter Kelly Sandra Ingraham, 28 of Kelmscott pleaded guilt to assault on a four year old boy. Both child care workers told the boy that they would, "chop off his willy" and allegedly held a knife to the child.

They state that they were trying to "shock" the boy so that he'd stop exposing himself at the daycare center in Perth. The mother and daughter had threatened him on three different occasions.

"Each assault was constituted by responsible ladies holding a knife to the boy,'' Mr Glustein said.The assaults were serious despite the pair's lawyers describing them as "mid-range'' in severity, Mr Glustein said.

Links

Biden's Dau ghter

Too Casual for Friday

Stabbed over a game

Knife to a 4 year old

Sunday Sunny Sunday

2009-03-29T13:58:00.004-07:00

Sunday provides the a fresh start for the week. California is going to need the time to reflect on the $8 Million that was just awarded to a California man who hit wild pigs on a California Highway. The jury decided that his B.A.C. being over .10 had nothing to do with the accident.

Rolling Death Mobile

Welcome to the People's Republic of China.The worlds most populated country and home to the new Death Mobile. Due to the expected rise of executions (estimated 10,000 for this year), the Chinese found a Nazi Tool that may have use for themselves.

Jinguan Auto created the high tech execution mobile. The $86,000 van can reach speeds of 80 M.P.H. and looks like a police vehicle on patrol on the outside. On the inside, it looks like a high tech operating theatre.

Every execution is monitored by video to make sure that procedure is followed to perfection. So it would be possible to describe an execution to the slightest detail.

The vans actually started trial runs over the last 3 years and all media on the vans were suppressed during the Olympics to prevent complaints about human rights. Now they are being deployed across all of China. "These vans will deters others from committing crimes and has more impact," said one official.

The Nazi's used to have the "Gas Wagon," that they use to slaughter criminals, the mentally ill, and the Jews. They adapted vans to be mobile gas chambers from the 1940's through the end of the second World War.

I am the LAW, now pass me a drink.

Corporal Fernando Martinez, 33 year Veteran of the Montgomery County Police Department was arrested for drunk driving in his Patrol car on Friday night. Police officials say that he crashed his cruiser into the concrete barrier on Route 270 around 11 p.m.

When other officers arrived on the scene, they smelled alcohol on the officer's Martinez's breath and he failed a field sobriety test. Luckily no one was hurt in the accident, but Martinez has been suspended while they are investigating the incident.

AT&T Sings a Sad Song to the RIAA

For the last few years the RIAA has been throwing their weight around at ISP's and typically the ISP would buckle to their demands. Typically the RIAA would want the suspected thieves internet access temporarily blocked and notice sent that they have been caught.

Well the balance of power has changed and one major provider in internet services told the RIAA to stuff it. Jim Cicconi, a senior executive Vice President at AT&T, says that a lot of purported relationship with the music industry is just untrue.

Cicconi said, "AT&T is not going to suspend or terminate anyone's policy without a court order." He wants to make sure that his customers are aware that they won't buckle, unless a judge orders them too.

On Tuesday, the Leadership Music Digital Summit was taking place, when Cicconi confirmed that they would send notices to individuals that are accused of pirating music by the RIAA.

The RIAA has been trying to implement a graduated response program for repeat offenders, but there has been some confusion on what it involves. It remains up to the ISP's to decide on the plan of action and implementation. Of course the RIAA's ideal program would have the service suspended for a limited time for "Chronic" offenders.

"We're pleased to be in constructive discussions with several ISPs," said an RIAA spokesman. "We're making important progress, and doing so in a manner consistent with everyone's respective priorities. We're grateful that some of the industry's leading executives came to Nashville and talked through these important issues."

AT&T confirmed that on Weds, they are attaching a "cover letter," along with the RIAA's cease and desist notice. The cover letter does contain a clause that does state the company can terminate the service, but that just a legality.

"It's a standard part of everybody's terms of service," Cicconi said. "If somebody is engaging in illegal activity, it basically gives us the right to do it...We're not a finder of fact and under no circumstances would we ever suspend or terminate service based on an allegation from a third party. We're just simply reminding people that they can't engage in illegal activity. What we do is send notices and keep track of violations and IP addresses," Cicconi said. "It's our view that any stronger action has got to rest with the copyright owner...That's what the courts are there for."

Link:
Chinese Improve Nazi Design?
DUI Cruiser
AT&T versus RIAA

Grammy Throwdown

2009-03-27T00:21:00.001-07:00

Happy Friday! I hope everyone is enjoying the March Madness. Its good to see the Men's and Women's teams getting plenty of on-air time. Unfortunately there are a few students in Oklahoma City that may have over "enjoyed" March Madness, due to the outbreak of syphilis.

I understand that it is Oklahoma, but just ask the teens attending parties where unprotected group sexual activity is encouraged to provide some kind of protection. Usually condoms, pills, or anything with Courtney Love in it.

Toad Stomping Goodness

Sydney, Australia - one of the most amazing and beautiful cities in the world is soon to be the home to the biggest toad massacre of all time. The home of the poisonous Cane Toad, has plagued Australians with its breeding rapidly, eating "voraciously", and killing just about anything that dares eat it.

Officials decided that the easiest way to combat this plague, is to hold a festival of mass killing the toads. Keeping a green theme to the massacre they will turn the corpses of the toad into fertilizer for the farmers that have been battling this war for years.

"It's just a circle of poetic justice!" Toad Day Out organizer Lisa Ahrens said. "Seventy-five years later, they're a benefit to the cane farmer."

Now these toads originally came from South America. The Cane Toad is known for spreading disease (salmonella) and producing highly toxic venom.

"The cane toad is probably the most disgusting creature and the most destructive creature," said Queensland politician Shane Knuth, a longtime loather of cane toads who came up with the Toad Day Out idea. "They're killing our native wildlife, they're taking over our habitat and they're hopping all through this country."

Organizers are asking people to capture them in toad traps and to not harm the toads inhumanly. All this article makes me thing of is the "Weasel Stomping" video from Robot Chicken.

McStabbin or Sir Stabsalot?

Oh Canada, well Edmonton, Canada is the location of the next story. 2 men got into an argument in a steam room at Grant MacEwan College, which got one man so hot under the collar that he stabbed the other outside of the steam room later.

Inspector Terry Rochio said that the local police were on a man hunt for 3 men, after the 49 year old man was stabbed in the back in the college's gym locker room.

“It appears from initial interviews there was an argument over, of all things ... the rocks in the steam room,” said Rocchio. “The argument happened in the steam room,” he said. “Some people left, came back and that’s when the altercation took place.”

The inspector also stated that they are not sure if the 3 men that they are looking for did the actual stabbing. Also they were unable to detect what kind of weapon was used to stab the man.

Those Coins Were Not Pulled from a Fountain

A Washington man decided that the best way to pay his traffic ticket of just over $200, was to send change in a plastic bag filled with coins and urine.

County employees told a local TV station (KPTV) that the package didn't smell, until someone opened it. Postal officials have stated that it is okay to mail urine or other fluids, as long as they are packaged properly (not leaking or smelling).

Unfortunately for the Washington Man, the county court has a policy that they can only accept change up to $20. Needless to say, court workers had to return his money. The man now owes $271 in fines and late fees. The county states that they don't intend to pursue the matter any further as long as he pays the $271.

"That's something I can't wrap my mind around," said Sgt. Phil Anderchuk, of the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office. "The thought process of acting consciously and consummating the act of urinating in a box full of coins that someone is going to receive."

Its not the Solo Mile High Club

Grammy Winning Elvis Crespo is being investigated for allegedly masturbating in front of other passengers on a plane Thursday. A woman said that she saw him performing a sex act on the plane that was going from Houston to Miami, according to Miami-Dade County police. The FBI is investigating the incident, due to the fact the this happened over U.S. Air Space.

Officers interviewed the singer upon his arrival in Miami, but no charges have been filed at this time. When asked about the purported sex act, Cespro's reply was, "I don't recall doing that."

Patricia Perea, 52, of Canyon Gate, Texas told police that she was sitting next to the singer. She continued by saying after about 15 minutes after the plane left the gate, he covered himself in a blanket and began to handle his business, then exposed himself to her.

Links
Don't Lick the Toad

Steam Room Stabbing

This Guy is Pissed

Singer gives himself a beating

Boxing Dominates the 90's

2009-03-25T10:04:00.004-07:00

The spotlight of sports was reopened for a 5th sport to move back into the main stream, since wrestling and major television had parted ways. Boxing has been around for thousands of years and has always had a role in sports, but its opening into American homes really surged in the 1990's.

A new generation of boxing started in the 1990's with characters like “Iron” Mike Tyson, Lennox "The Lion" Lewis, Riddick "Big Daddy" Bowe, George “Big” Foreman, and Evander “Real Deal” Holyfield. Mike Tyson seemed to grab most headlines, due to winning 12 fights in the first round by knock out and capturing the heavyweight title by the age of 20 (prior to 1990). Which brought the boxing back into the spotlight. It also helped that he had Don King as the outspoken promoter that always caused a scene before the fights.

“Iron” Mike Tyson versus Evander “Real Deal” Holyfield in 1996 was the rebirth of 2 fighters and the spotlight remained on boxing for the rest of the decade. Holyfield was labeled as “washed up” and an easy win for Tyson, but that was the same line they used for Buster Douglas (who gave Tyson his first knock out in his career). Holyfield won the fight in the 11th round with a TKO on Tyson, which shocked the world and led to a rematch a year later.

“The Sound and Fury” was set for June 28, 1997. Mills Lane was the referee for the boxing match known across the world. Almost 2 million household bought the fight on PPV, the highest buy rate record of that time. This time the fight would have a different outcome. Only lasting 3 rounds, after Tyson was disqualified for biting Holyfield's ear.

The biting incident would be mocked in TV Shows, skits, and radio programs across the united states for years to come. Unfortunately, this led to the absence of boxing from the main stream and back into a Pay Per View/ Premium event.

Slice of Life

2009-03-25T01:34:00.003-07:00

Louisiana was trying to help another company keep open the old Pilgrim Pride chicken processing plant. P.E.T.A. opted for a different solution. They tried to get the state to open a “Chicken Empathy Museum.” They wanted the museum to include a playground for kids, that would include cage-like playscapes.

"I guess the whole thing would be a chicken wing, right?" said Ashley Byrne, campaign coordinator for PETA. "Actually, we did plan to serve faux chickens, vegetarian chickens made from healthy plant protein in the museum restaurant, along with an array of other tasty vegetarian food. As a gift from PETA, part of our proposal was that each visitor 12 years old and younger would have a plush chicken toy with a tag reading, 'I am not a nugget,' " Ashley said.

60 Ft. Do It Yourself Dong

Andy and Clare McInnes thought that April Fools came early when a news company contacted them about a phallic design that graced their newly finished roof. They were delighted that the building crew had just finished with the flat roof on their £1million house.

Their son Rory, 18, decided that he would make his house stand out after watching a documentary on Google Earth. For over the next year only Rory knew of the stand out design, until a helicopter pilot spotted it and hovered over the house so passengers could take photos of it.

Andy said, “It’s an April Fool’s joke, right? There’s no way there’s a 60ft phallus on top of my house.”

When Andy pressed on the kids trying to figure out which made the design, Rory was in Brazil as part of a gap years travel, he could be heard saying, “Oh, you’ve found it then!” (laughing the entire time).

Skateboard Ramp + Dispute = Fire

Welcome to Orange City, Florida. Lewis Smith, 45, repeatedly asked neighborhood man to remove a skateboard ramp from the road near his home. Lewis, neighbors, and the man that build the ramps were found by Orange City Deputies arguing over the ramps.

Sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson said that Lewis was arrested and charged with criminal mischief on Sunday, because Lewis decided that the best way to resolve the ramp issue was to set them on fire. He was released from the Volusia County Branch Jail on his own recognizance.

Paying taxes on sex?

Meet Democratic Senator Bob Coffin from Las Vegas. He has proposed to have a new tax added onto prostitution. He states that the new tax would raise around $2 million a year for the state.

He wants the patrons of both legal and illegal prostitutes to pay an extra $5 per session under the new bill he created. A lobbyist for the state's legal brothels volunteered to be taxed, in an effort to guarantee their survival.

“I think we will support it,” George Flint, a spokesman for the state’s brothel industry, said of Coffin’s bill. In rural counties of Nevada there are eight major brothels and 17 smaller houses of prostitution, said Flint.

When Coffin was asked about how the state would collect the tax from the independent street walkers, he replied that when the business tax was first implemented, it wasn't collected from all those required to pay it.

The 1980's

2009-03-24T10:28:00.003-07:00

Big Hair and bright colors describe the music and styles of the 80's. This new age brought an opening to flamboyant, loud, wild, and crazier people than the typical person in society. This is when Wrestling was able to grab a stranglehold of the available sports light and saw some of its characters movie into the everyday media. Wrestling characters like Hulk Hogan, Captain Lou Albano, Andre the Giant, Rowdy Roddy Piper, the Iron Sheik, Sgt. Slaughter, and “Mean” Gene Okerlund were made into a Saturday morning cartoon as part of the “Rock N' Roll” wrestling. NBC supported the sport with “Saturday Night Main Events,” which would air almost ever 2 months with the ever popular wrestling stars.

Wrestling reached its Pinnacle in 1987 with Wrestlemania III, but slowly faded out of the spotlight. The WWF (now WWE), dropped to rock bottom in the 1990's due to all kinds of legal issues ranging from sexual harassment charges to steroid abuse.